Reality

I have come to the conclusion that reality really does bite. Many things have happened over the past two months but the one that has struck me the most has been the death of a friends son.

Betsey and I were in school together from the 7th to the 10th grade. As with most people you know from high school, even with the best of friends, we went our different ways when she transferred schools and never spoke again. About a year ago, give or take, we reconnected via Facebook and I learned that she had been married and divorced and remarried as well as had children. Her oldest was getting ready to graduate high school and her youngest was going to be starting middle school. We actually got to see each other when I had jury duty; turned out she worked at the county courthouse. It was great to see her and see how she had matured but deep down she was still the same Betsey I remembered even though she was now called Beth.

I flipped through her FB pictures of her children, wedding pictures and her family animals. I got a sense of the woman she had become and that she still lived life to the fullest as she had all those years ago when our little group of girls got together. As with most FB users, those of us that had reconnected had even talked about getting together for dinner. In short, it was nice to reconnect and tell stories of our youth.

Last week, I was shocked to see her FB status showing that she was at the hospital. Everything was vague and I was amazed that in whatever situation had caused her emergent visit tot he hospital that she was even posting anything about her current status. Slowly over the next few days the story began to filter through her posts. I admit that I was astounded that she was even posting something so personal and devastating. Every day there were several updates about her son; turns out the oldest had found the youngest alone in his room unconscious from a game. Apparently, Beth's son was playing something called The Choking Game. The idea is for one to choke oneself (or be choked by a friend) until they pass out so that the chokee can experience a 'high' or the sensation of floating. From what I understand this is the new trend among tweens and teens, the new drug. Having never heard about it before, I was completely shocked and thought 'How fucking stupid can someone be'. Why in God's name anyone would want to try something like that is completely beyond my understanding. After reading some of the links that Beth posted, the most astounding information I found was that 40% of the kids that participate in the game do not believe that anything bad can happen. Again, how fucking stupid can someone be?!

Over the weekend I kept up with Beth's posts about her sons progress and her wishes for prayers to help her son fight for his life. I read about the different tests the hospital staff was running and about the impending brain swelling that inevitably happened. Unfortunately, yesterday, Beth's son passed away at the tender age of 13. As of this moment I have not been able to relay a coherent thought to Beth about my sorrow for her. I cannot imagine the pain she must be feeling and the questions that must be running through her head. I keep thinking that she must be beside herself and completely incapable of reason or thought; isn't that the way parents are supposed to be when they loose a child? Turns out that Beth made an incredibly strong gesture that I am sure I would never be able to do; she has donated her sons organs so that other may live. I am completely humbled by her strength to give in such a desperate time of grief, yet I am unable to vocalize those thoughts.

Loss is a horrible experience but I cannot imagine the loss of a child. Having had very little experience in the death department, I cannot fathom how someone is able to see beyond their great loss so that they may help others. I have found that an old childhood friend is hero. I can only hope, that should something like her loss ever happen to me, that I am able to handle myself with the strength and grace that Beth has exhibited.

For those readers that have children, I urge you to familiarize yourself with The Choking Game and be aware that this game exists.