Conversations With A 9 Year Old

So the Bean spent last Saturday night with me and we had great fun.  A couple of conversations:


Bean (on the phone w/me): Can I spend the night?  I know we are supposed to call earlier in the week but my plans fell through, so can I come?
Me: Your plans fell through (come one people!  she is 9! what kind of plans could she have?!?)? So I am your second choice?
Bean: Yep
Junior (faintly over the phone): You don't say that to people!
Bean (now talking to her father): But I was going to stay with .....
Junior: You don't tell people that they are you second choice, Bean.  It might make them feel bad.
Bean: Oh....(now talking to me) well can I?


At the house.

Bean: You need to call your friend because I want to babysit the little girl like Budzo did.
Me: What friend? What girl?
Bean: I don't remember their names but Budzo got to do it so I want to too.
Me: Are you talking about Gia?
Bean: That's the one! Can she come over?


At the mall (yes, people, I went to a mall) eating lunch.

Bean: I want some cousins.
Me (choking): You what?!?!
Bean: I want some cousins.  I want someone to play with besides the boys.
Me: If I were to give you cousins, it would be many years before they could play with you and then you wouldn't be interested.
Bean: No it won't; just adopt some kid.
Me:........


Still at the mall.

Bean: Can two women have a baby?
Me (thinking Good God Why Me!): Well, yes but they have to have a doctor's help and they still need a boy.
Bean: Why do they need a boy?
Me (Really?  How do I get myself into these things?): Because it takes a boy and a girl to make a baby.
Bean give me a look that plainly said that my explanation was not good enough.
Me: God help me....Girls have eggs....
Bean: I have eggs?  I don't have eggs.
Me: Yes you do, you were born with all the eggs you are ever going to have.  Boys have sperm....
Bean: What?
Me: Just go with this will you?
Bean: Okay
Me: When a boy and a girl are intimate, which usually happens when they really, really love each other (I thought a little lie wouldn't hurt), then the boy's sperm meets the girls egg and that becomes a baby.
Bean: So why do two women need a doctor?
Me: You need to talk to Grammy.
Bean: But....
Me: Talk to Grammy.