I Blame Alanis

Yesterday I was busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. It seemed that everybody and their brother wanted something so by the end of the day I was a bit frazzled. I kept thinking about my job and how everything I do falls outside of the spectrum of what I was actually hired to do; everything falls under the ‘other duties as needed’. I pretty much decided that if my company wants to overpay me to be the supply ordering, urinal fixing, A/C adjusting, mouse catching, wasp killing, fan fixing, furniture moving, envelope stuffing, Christmas card mailing, meeting organizing, ant annihilating, note taking accounting assistant then so be it.

In the haze that was yesterday, I found out that our mailing machine was broken. After doing all the logical steps to try and fix the machine, I gave up and told the receptionist to call for service or a new machine.

K: Well, what about the mail?
Me: I’ll take it to the post office when I leave for the day.
K: Should we (she must have had a mouse in her pocket) put stamps on the envelopes?
Me: No, the post office will have a machine that will take care of them.


So I leave work a little early and drive to the post office that takes care of mass mail. I thought that, even though I wasn’t sending out a bazillion fliers, the mass mail post office would be the place to take our payroll advices for mailing. Let’s just say I was wrong. I spent twenty minutes placing a forever stamp on each payroll advice after finding out something that I wish I had known all along.

Me: I need to mail these envelopes; our machine at work broke.
Postal Employee: I hope you get it fixed, cause it’s gonna suck putting stamps on all of those.
Me: (ignoring her tone and you suck attitude and not really paying attention) Yeah I guess so but we should be up and running by the end of the week. I just need to get these payroll advices out.
PE: Well you are going to need stamps; how many envelopes do you have?
Me: 168 (after counting)
PE: 168 stamps coming up.
Me: You mean you don’t have a postage machine at the post office? I’m going to have to put stamps on each envelope?
PE: Nope and yep.
Me: (FUCK!!) Well I guess I need 168 stamps then.

The whole time I was putting the friggin’ stamps on the envelopes I kept thinking that it was impossible that the post office doesn’t have a postage machine!

Now thanks to Alanis Morrisette, I can’t remember if that is ironic or not.