Needles And Addiction

So last week I decided to do something that many of you will be proud of; I went to see an acupuncturist. He put 3 needles in my left ear, 3 on my left clavicle, 2 in my right ear and 2 in my right clavicle. Needles have never bothered me so it was no biggie. Why, you ask, would I go see an acupuncturist? To stop smoking.
I have tried everything; patches, gum, the things you suck on, cold-turkey, slowly cutting back etc. The only thing I haven't tried is hypnosis. I suck at this stop smoking thing. The acupuncture was pretty cool. I left the office and felt incredibly calm and stress free. I slept better than I have in years. I was mucus free, woke up feeling alive and being able to breathe. I was coughing a lot but I have heard that this is normal.
Yesterday, I had a pretty shitty day and this was following a pretty crappy Monday. I spent over 2 hours on the phone with some company who processes Dell's online payments. It appears that this company tried to process my $1,500 payment THREE times. Now I'm not one of those people who has and extra $3K+ lying around in my bank account, so I incurred 2 NSF fees. Dell is not responsible, my bank is not responsible but the company who processes Dell's payments is responsible. After arguing with them for 2+ hours over, I was given the proverbial finger and told that I would not be receiving a refund for the NSF charges. I WAS EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED!!!! I GAVE IN!!!! I BOUGHT A PACK OF CIGARETTES!!! I SUCK, SUCK, SUCK!!!!
I also scheduled a follow up appointment with my acupuncturist (at no additional charge EVER) and had another round.
Today I had lunch with Dad who knows about the acupuncture and my slip yesterday. Some of you know my dad. Some of you know how relentless my dad can be; for those of you that don't, imagine a starving dog and a bone. When he wants to talk about something, he is going to talk about it whether you want to or not. After lunch all I was to do was buy a pack of cigarettes and smoke just as an act of defiance. I'm 35 and I want to push my death along just because my dad was disappointed (yet supportive in his own way) because I slipped. What kind of fucked up sense does that make? And how about this - I lasted until after work. I am again in possession of a pack of cigarettes and I cannot bring myself to throw them away.
I need a recovery center.