It's all 50/50

So have joined a couple of on-line dating services. What was that? Why? Well, I'm still trying to figure that one out. I have this compelling need to have a single male friend, maybe with benefits. You see all of my friends are couples. Usually I know the wife first and then one thing leads to another and BAM! I get invited to a dinner or a party and then I get to meet the husband and BAM! I get invited to a dinner or a party with other single males. The problem isn't that these males aren't nice or interesting or any other that. The problem isn't that my friends only want what they think is best for me or want me happiness blah, blah, blah. The problem is that I don't want a "relationship" relationship. I have seen some good ones and I have seen some bad ones. Unfortunately, the bad ones are the ones that turn me off to relationships period. I don't want to be responsible for someone else. What was that? I wouldn't be responsible for someone else you say? I beg to differ. To often I have seen relationships where one half of the couple doesn't take into consideration the other half. I have always heard (and been told) that every relationship is 50/50. Not true my friends (must be channeling John McCain here - does it bother anyone else that he calls all of us his friends), not true. I have yet to see an relationship that is 50/50, be it husband & wife, life partners, brothers & sisters or just plain ole friends. Usually there is one person who sucks up much of the oxygen in the room and the other just takes shallow little breaths to make sure they both go on breathing. This may seem cynical to you but if you think about it, I'm right. What did you say? You would like an example? Good Lord, let me think. Any example....the pressure, the pressure. I've got it!!


Like a good bit of you out there, I have a brother. Do I love my brother? Unconditionally. Does he love me? Unconditionally (not sure). It seems that Junior only has anything to do with me when he needs something. Now this is not like having a "friend" who is only there when it is convenient for them (I have had some of those too-but that is a different post). I can't just say "Fuck you" and move on. One, it's just not in my genetic make-up. Two, he is my brother. While family dinners would probably be a sight more exciting if I did give him the ole heave-ho, I don't think I need to add fuel to the flame. You see this same thing that you are thinking is what I constantly tell my parental units. "He is just using you", "He will never amount to anything", "you are nothing but a glorified babysitter to him" etc. What is funny about this is that I tell myself the same thing over and over again and yet whenever a scrap is thrown my way, I jump on it like a zombie dog jumping on a human in Resident Evil. I feel responsible for him. I feel responsible for his kids. I feel responsible for his dogs. Hell, I even feel responsible for HIS friend that lives with his family! Why on earth would I want to give that advantage to someone else who isn't even blood related?!?! For love? Was that what you said? I hate to say it, but I don't think love is anything more than a 80/20 relationship tipped in your favor.