Wishing, Hoping, Praying...Screaming

Only In The South

2011-10-21T06:27:00.000-07:00

I assume that this kind of thing would happen anywhere in the world but this was the thought that popped into my head.

I stopped this morning to gas up Julio. This is the kind of place, that back in my day, would have had shelves of VHS tapes available for rent, signs letting you know where the tanning bed was, huge jars of pickled eggs on the counter, a vat of boiled peanuts and the ever present night crawlers for sale. I know that to some of you this may sound like a joke but I have to say that jokes, just like urban legends, have to get their start somewhere. In the present day, the store now sells not only every kind of beverage and snack you can think of but also a vast array of accessories for you cell phone, minutes for said phone, a plethora of Alabama & Auburn ball caps, shirts etc., cheap jewelry, lighters and such; you get the picture.

Walking into the store I hollered at Doris, the cashier, and got my beverages before heading to the counter. Doris rang me up and...

Doris: Well the world didn't end yesterday.
Me: (blank stare, wide eyed blinking)
Doris: They said on the radio that the world was going to end last night.
Me: Really???
Doris: Yep. Apparently some 90 year old man said that God was coming back last night.
Me: Well, from the look of things that didn't happen.
Doris: Don't you know it! Stupid man! Doesn't he know that man is not going to know when the second coming is going to happen? The better angels don't know but man does!? Makes no sense! The only one who knows is God; I know that because I'm a back slider.
Me: Really? The angels?
Doris: Yep, bible says that the angels do not know when the second coming will happen, only God.
Me: Hmmm (thinking, gotta ask MawMaw about this one)
Doris: Course I'm going to hell anyway being a back slider. After I lost my husband I quit going to church cause I was mad at God.
Me: I'm sorry to hear that Doris.
Doris: Yeah - gotta get myself right again.
Me: We all do Doris. Gotta get to work, dear. Have a good day!

So....only in the South can you get gas, beverages and a bible lesson.

Revelations

2011-10-07T15:54:00.000-07:00

Scooter is spending the weekend with me. As soon as we got home from the grocery store, I put him to work in helping me with the grocery distribution.

S: Why do I have to take this stuff to the bathroom? Why don't you do it?
Me: Because when you guys come to visit me you are really coming to be my slaves.

Scooters revelation: B can really be a shit.

Scooter is preparing Yen & Madalynn some canned food for dinner, so they are, of course, going bat shit around him with the crying and the rubbing.

S: Okay! Okay! Be nice, this is my first time!
Me: (thinking) That's what she said.

B's revelation: I hang out with the guys at work way too much.

Awesomeness

2011-10-06T05:43:00.000-07:00

If you did not watch this last night, you are really missing something so check it out.

American Horror Story

By the by it is definitely not something for tweens or younger. As for older teens I guess that is up to you.

Conversations With A 9 Year Old

2011-09-27T08:13:00.000-07:00

So the Bean spent last Saturday night with me and we had great fun. A couple of conversations:

Bean (on the phone w/me): Can I spend the night? I know we are supposed to call earlier in the week but my plans fell through, so can I come?
Me: Your plans fell through (come one people! she is 9! what kind of plans could she have?!?)? So I am your second choice?
Bean: Yep
Junior (faintly over the phone): You don't say that to people!
Bean (now talking to her father): But I was going to stay with .....
Junior: You don't tell people that they are you second choice, Bean. It might make them feel bad.
Bean: Oh....(now talking to me) well can I?

At the house.

Bean: You need to call your friend because I want to babysit the little girl like Budzo did.
Me: What friend? What girl?
Bean: I don't remember their names but Budzo got to do it so I want to too.
Me: Are you talking about Gia?
Bean: That's the one! Can she come over?

At the mall (yes, people, I went to a mall) eating lunch.

Bean: I want some cousins.
Me (choking): You what?!?!
Bean: I want some cousins. I want someone to play with besides the boys.
Me: If I were to give you cousins, it would be many years before they could play with you and then you wouldn't be interested.
Bean: No it won't; just adopt some kid.
Me:........

Still at the mall.

Bean: Can two women have a baby?
Me (thinking Good God Why Me!): Well, yes but they have to have a doctor's help and they still need a boy.
Bean: Why do they need a boy?
Me (Really? How do I get myself into these things?): Because it takes a boy and a girl to make a baby.
Bean give me a look that plainly said that my explanation was not good enough.
Me: God help me....Girls have eggs....
Bean: I have eggs? I don't have eggs.
Me: Yes you do, you were born with all the eggs you are ever going to have. Boys have sperm....
Bean: What?
Me: Just go with this will you?
Bean: Okay
Me: When a boy and a girl are intimate, which usually happens when they really, really love each other (I thought a little lie wouldn't hurt), then the boy's sperm meets the girls egg and that becomes a baby.
Bean: So why do two women need a doctor?
Me: You need to talk to Grammy.
Bean: But....
Me: Talk to Grammy.

Playing Catch-up

2011-09-17T15:05:00.000-07:00

I have been doing everything and yet nothing at all. Since I last posted, I have been to Colorado for work and Georgia & Tennessee for pleasure.

At the first of August, a colleague and I were sent to Colorado Springs to open an office branch for work. We spent the week opening the office and it was a very nice break from the day to day grind back at home. We didn't get to do anything touristy but I enjoyed my time away. It is so beautiful out there that I actually considered looking for a job. I love the town and the weather is glorious! Plus there is the added benefit of actual seasons!

A couple of weeks ago, I headed off to Atlanta to see Chocolate' and catch a concert. We had tickets to see Train (my favorite!) with Maroon 5 (they were okay) and Matt Nathanson (missed most of his act but I liked what I heard) at an amphitheatre. Chocolate' and I have a wonderful seafood dinner before heading to the concert and after walking a country mile; we settled ourselves on the slope of the amphitheatre to enjoy some music. Not only were we entertained by the bands but also this group sitting to the side of us; specifically one of their crew that was having a good time all on his own. The man was wasted beyond measure and provided Chocolate' and I with lots of humorous suppositions. It was a 'you had to be there' kind of thing and it was hilarious.

We also did some damage at the outlets and that is saying something for someone who doesn't like to shop. Later we met up with a friend and had yet more seafood. It reminded me of the Bucket of Boat trash you can get at Bubba Gump restaurants but it was only crab and shrimp. And it was a lot! The three of us barely made a dent into the bucket! We had a wonderful time just catching up and I was sad to come back home.

Later that weekend, I took Parental 1 & 2 out to dinner for their birthdays. We went to The Melting Pot and they said they enjoyed themselves. If you have never been, I would recommend it for the experience but be prepared to spend some money.

Beyond the celebrations, I've had to deal with an illness. I contracted RSV...again. Having a sucky immune system really stinks. I spent three days at home and went back to work to deal with chaos.

So that is what has been going on in my little world. For those one or two of you who read this I promise to post more often and try to be whitier when I do post.

Until then...

How True

2011-07-22T06:18:00.000-07:00

"With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion."

-- Steven Weinberg

This quote made me think about Isaac and Ishmael, The West Wing's episode dedicated to all the terriost attacks that have been made in the name of religion. Favorite line from that episode?

Islamic extremist is to Islamic as ________ is to Christianity.

For those non-fans of The West Wing the answer is the KKK.

Homeward Bound

2011-06-24T15:59:00.000-07:00

PU #2 and I spent a few minutes today talking about the 'good old days'. The conversation took us back here.

This was my very first home; where I came to after being born. At the time, my parental units were in Spain (PU #2 was stationed here). This is the first time I have actually seen the place.

Of course once seeing this home, I had to look at the one I remember.

Some many good memories from this home. The windows at the top were in the attic. PU #2 used to tell Junior and me that a Civil War ghost lived in the attic so that we would stay out of it. Believe me when I say that it didn't work. It has changed a lot since I was there but I still have the memories.

I'm Going Kamikaze On Some Cars

2011-06-17T06:45:00.000-07:00

Just to clarify, I'm not talking about getting drunk.

Many of my friends and family have heard me rant about this before so they are just going to have to bear with me or shut their pie holes.

1. My apartment community allows two parking spaces per apartment. Since it is just me, I have no problem with keeping to my two parking space allowance. In fact, even though technically I am allowed to occupy an additional parking space, I always make sure that friends and family follow the rules and they park in the areas that have been deemed suitable for guests.

2. I have a very small car. Julio is a Miata, so he doesn't take up a lot of space either in a parking spot or on the road. In fact most people driving those big ass SUV either assume Julio is a figment of their imagination or they just don't care that I am driving along next to them.

3. Each two storey apartment building has the standard eight apartments; four on top and four on bottom. With two parking spots per apartment, we have a total of sixteen spots to pick from. Giving that I live alone, as does my upstairs neighbor, and I only have one car (ditto for upstairs neighbor), my building should have at least two parking spaces free whenever everyone in the building is home.

There are never two parking spaces free and no they are not occupied by visitors and the like. Want to know why there are never two parking spaces free? Because these fuckers in my building can't park!

Every day I come home, there are a plethora of parking spaces and I usually park in the resident parking spot that is farthest from the building. I have a little car so I don't have a problem pulling into any parking space, not even sub compact parking spaces. Everyone else in my building drives either a sedan or SUV and not one of these idiots know how to pull into a parking space correctly AND they don't know how to back up, straighten their steering wheel and then pull into a parking space correctly. Therefore a minimum of 1 1/2 parking space is being claimed by one vehicle.

Every damn morning I leave for work, I have to squeeze myself between my driving side door and some other car's passenger side door. It is so fucking irritating that I am now declaring war on my fellow residents.

After squeezing myself between the two cars, I grab Julio by the door handle and fling it open with all the vigor I can muster at 6:30 in the morning. I climb into my car and then push the door open as far as I can with as much force as I can before I finally enclose myself into the semi comfort of Julio's interior.

Is this wrong of me? Of course!
Is it passive aggressive? Hell, yes it is!
Am I damaging both Julio and someone else’s car? Very little, but yes.
Do I care? Not one bit; those fuckers have it coming.

Beware Of The Soccer Dads

2011-05-23T10:33:00.000-07:00

As with any community on the face of this earth, Huntsville has its good areas, its bad areas and of course it has its highly affluent areas. In Huntsville's case the highly affluent areas tend to reside in the Monte Sano, Hampton Cove, Jones Valley, South Parkway areas of town.

And just like every community on the face of this earth, Huntsville has people who feel that they are entitled to the best of the best, who believe their children are the most wonderful, precious darlings ever conceived and that money is what counts. These people tend to live in the above mentioned areas.

Now before I get into the juice of my story, I'm sure some of you are thinking that I am getting to rant about the privileged people of my area and you are right. You are going to be thinking that I am just jealous of what these people have or the lifestyle they are able to maintain and to a certain degree you are also right. But in fact this post has to do with common decency and courtesy for your fellow man.

Budzo and Scooter had all day soccer games this past Saturday. The plan was to arrive early, set up our tent behind any crowd so we would not block anyone’s view and just make a day of it. Well, I should say that was everyone else plan; I showed up around noon. I watched the second half of Budzo's game and I noticed that Junior seemed to be silently seething. It didn't take long for me to figure out what was the cause of his ire. Apparently, just as Budzo's game was starting, several of the affluent people I have mentioned above came to watch their child/grandchild play on the opposing team. Wheedling her way into some of the shade our tent provided, an older woman, who was dressed to the nines for a child’s soccer game and smelled horribly of some expensive perfume, decided that the tent did not provide enough shade. She had situated herself slightly to Junior's left and about one half of a foot in front of him. Then she brought up the umbrella. Of course it was a golf umbrella. Of course she did not pull it down as close as possible to her own body. And of course she was completely clueless to the fact that she had now blocked Junior's view of half of the field. Instead of asking the lady to wake up and join this reality, Junior just sighed and watched the rest of the game on his feet.

We then enjoyed a two hour break as we waited for Scooter's game to start. Not to toot our own horns but whenever someone came by to ask questions about the schedule or if they could join us for a minute to get out of the sun or if we would mind watching so and so while they took child #2 to another event, we had no problem. We were all enjoying ourselves and getting to spend some time together.

Cue the warm up for Scooter's team and stupid person #1.
No sooner had we all sat back to watch the warm up, a gentleman, whose wealth was apparent, stood in front of us as he surveyed his kingdom of the soccer field sidelines. He saw all of us, made eye contact, even nodded his head, took about five steps to the right and proceeded to set up this huge summer umbrella right in front of us. I saw both my father and my brother tense. I also saw each one of them just shake their head and decide to let it go. Turns out this man wasn’t setting up the umbrella so that he, his wife and his daughter could comfortably watch their child/sibling play; instead he was setting up the umbrella so his daughter would have a place to play and the dog would have a place to nap. I watched as both the men in my family let their jaws fall when the man then went on to set up chairs for him and his wife, with their back to their daughter. Go figure.

Cue stupid person #2.
A man comes and sets up his chair and carries on several conversations with the people around him. Then he pulls out the beach umbrella and proceeds to hide himself from the sun and the field from us. This was the proverbial straw to the camel’s proverbial back.

PU #2 decides he has had enough and jumps to his feet. Hoping that he is going to handle this situation diplomaticly was fruitless of me; I mean I know my father. His back was ruffeled. He told the men that what they were doing was unacceptable. He explained that we had been there all day and had deliberately set up away from the sideline so that our tent would not block anyone’s view. He said that if they were going to use umbrellas then they should also move to the back of the sidelines so they aren’t obstructing anyones view. I’m sure you can imagine the tone that was used. Both men were stunned and stupid person #2 apologized and moved his seat. Stupid man #1 was really stupid.

As any man is apt to do, he shot his mouth off and tried to get a few quick witted sayings in….but he moved his umbrella. When we thought the worst was over, stupid man #1 turned around and said, “By the way, you are welcome”.

Parental Unit #2 was immediately on his feet, Junior was right behind him tell PU #2 that he had his back, PU #1 and myself were telling them both to let it go and TCFTBL was watching with cell phone in hand.

A few minutes later, Bean pops up.

“Can I go ask them if I can pet their dog?”

“NO!” was the reply from every adult under our tent.

*******************************************************************
Twenty minutes later

“I’m gone; tired of being hot.”

“Okay B” PU#2, replied giving me a hug. “Watch the news tonight.”

“Of course; gotta make sure I don’t have to bail all of you out of jail.”

Sometimes, my family is so white trash.

When The Lights Go Down In The City

2011-05-16T10:35:00.000-07:00

So as many of you may have read, my little area of the world has had some major devastation from tornadic activity a couple of weeks ago. As you have probably seen, small towns and many houses were decimated. This post has nothing to do with the damage and such. This post is much more about people's attitudes since the tornados.

On any given day, no matter where you live, you are apt to run into people who are either going to be nice or they are not. I am not immune to this; I have many a day that I didn't want to be nice to anyone. This is why I got out of the hospitality industry. See, I was a people pleaser and people pleasers need to be in the service industry. If you are not a people pleaser, you SHOULD NOT be in the service industry. After spending seven years in the hotel and restaurant industry, I just couldn't do it anymore. Being in charge of employees and also having to deal with customers just began to wear on me. When your employee complains about not getting a good tip or that the old lady in 415 just cussed them out because she was going to have to wait for a towel, you have to learn to handle not only the employee but also the customer. Here is a little tip for some of you out there; the customer is NOT always right. Let me just say that again. THE CUSTOMER IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT. Unfortunately, if you want a good tip, review, smile, stiff nod of the head, whatever you need to brighten your day, you have to make the customer believe that they are right. After seven years of yes ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir, no sir I had had enough.

Since leaving the industry, I have always strived to leave a great tip for good service, speak nicely to cashiers, smile at people in general who work any in service industry. This all leads up to what happened Saturday.

Tam called me and asked if I would come watch Gia for a couple of hours so Tam could get some house work done. Heading out the door, I called Tam and asked what she wanted from Waffle House. I got her order and then called Waffle House and placed the order. I was there within the 15 minutes of placing the order. I walked into the restaurant and headed directly to the cash register, where a woman was standing doing some paperwork. I waited. No recognition from the lady. I waited some more.

Woman #1: You here for the pick up?
Me: Yes
Woman #1 hollered someone's name and went back to her paperwork.
Woman #1: Crap! (this was not whispered under her breath)
I continued to wait.
Woman #1: I hate my life. (turning her head in the direciton of her coworkers) I need a ticket!
Woman #2: Right here.
I gave my debit card to Woman #1 and reviewed my order.
Me: I also ordered some grits please.
Woman #2: Coming right up.
Me: Can I also get some butter and jelly?
Woman #2: (sighs) What kind?
Me: Strawberry & grape please.
I sign my debit card slip and did not include a tip.
Woman #1: Wow, Woman #2, you must suck as a waitress.
Woman #2: Yeah, I guess so.
Woman #1: You never get a tip.

Now I ask you, in this transaction, did Woman #2 deserve a tip? My order was incorrect, I had to ask for basic items, Woman #1 was just out and out rude and Woman #2 seems put out to even complete the order. I was fuming!

Later that evening I realized that I had been experiencing this kind of unpleasantness since the tornados. It is like the tornados not only destroyed homes and business but also destroyed anyones desire to have an ounce of happiness. I am completly baffeled by it all. Perhaps I should have ran into one of the tornados and wished myself away to the land of Oz. Trust me, I would feel better dealing with a green witch, whose sister I just killed.

Busted!

2011-05-08T10:31:00.000-07:00

Last night PU #1 called.

PU#1: Are you coming here tomorrow?
Me: It's Mother's Day isn't it? Of course I'm coming.
PU#1: You need to wear the jewelry Bean gave you for Christmas.
Me: Why?
PU #1: When we were at mother's Bean said that you must not have liked the necklace and earrings because she has never seen you wear them.
Me: You know why right?
PU #1: It's costume jewelry and you are allergic.
Me: Yeah; how am I supposed to explain that to Bean.
PU #1: I just wanted you to know that she has noticed.

Guess what I'm wearing.

Conversations With Kids

2011-04-05T11:45:00.000-07:00

Scooter and I over dinner two weekends ago

Scooter: Are you and Mom (TCFTBL) friends?
Me: Ummm....No. (thinking hell no)
S: Did you used to be?
M: Not really.
S: Did you hang out together?
M: Sometimes
S: So how come you aren't friends?
M: ............
S: B, how come you aren't friends?
M: We don't enjoy the same things.
S: But...
M: Scooter, I think this is a conversation you should be having with your father.
______________________________________________________
Jake and I driving back from the auto store this past Sunday.

Jake: Momma has a cut here (points to his finger) and here (points to his arm).
Me: Really?
J: Yep. She punched Aunt Karen (SIL's sister) in the face.
M: Really!?!? (thinking I cannot believe that she (SIL) told her son this)
J: Yep.
M: Do you think that was the right thing to do?
J: Well Aunt Karen stole Daddy's blanket, so Momma punched her.
M: And do you think that was the right thing to do?
J: No....probably not.

______________________________________________________
I had no clue how to handle the first conversation and I feel like I just brushed Scooter off. I knew I couldn't tell him what I really wanted to say but I think I could have at least come up with something better than 'Ask your father'.

The second conversation was just a little different. After I got over the whole 'Who the hell tells their 4 year old that they punched their own sister' bit, I think I handled that one pretty good.

Text From Over The Weekend

2011-03-29T13:32:00.000-07:00

Dufus & Jake taking a nap

I Blame Alanis

2011-03-24T10:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. It seemed that everybody and their brother wanted something so by the end of the day I was a bit frazzled. I kept thinking about my job and how everything I do falls outside of the spectrum of what I was actually hired to do; everything falls under the ‘other duties as needed’. I pretty much decided that if my company wants to overpay me to be the supply ordering, urinal fixing, A/C adjusting, mouse catching, wasp killing, fan fixing, furniture moving, envelope stuffing, Christmas card mailing, meeting organizing, ant annihilating, note taking accounting assistant then so be it.

In the haze that was yesterday, I found out that our mailing machine was broken. After doing all the logical steps to try and fix the machine, I gave up and told the receptionist to call for service or a new machine.

K: Well, what about the mail?
Me: I’ll take it to the post office when I leave for the day.
K: Should we (she must have had a mouse in her pocket) put stamps on the envelopes?
Me: No, the post office will have a machine that will take care of them.

So I leave work a little early and drive to the post office that takes care of mass mail. I thought that, even though I wasn’t sending out a bazillion fliers, the mass mail post office would be the place to take our payroll advices for mailing. Let’s just say I was wrong. I spent twenty minutes placing a forever stamp on each payroll advice after finding out something that I wish I had known all along.

Me: I need to mail these envelopes; our machine at work broke.
Postal Employee: I hope you get it fixed, cause it’s gonna suck putting stamps on all of those.
Me: (ignoring her tone and you suck attitude and not really paying attention) Yeah I guess so but we should be up and running by the end of the week. I just need to get these payroll advices out.
PE: Well you are going to need stamps; how many envelopes do you have?
Me: 168 (after counting)
PE: 168 stamps coming up.
Me: You mean you don’t have a postage machine at the post office? I’m going to have to put stamps on each envelope?
PE: Nope and yep.
Me: (FUCK!!) Well I guess I need 168 stamps then.

The whole time I was putting the friggin’ stamps on the envelopes I kept thinking that it was impossible that the post office doesn’t have a postage machine!

Now thanks to Alanis Morrisette, I can’t remember if that is ironic or not.

Are You There God?

2011-03-09T09:30:00.000-08:00

A quick update from my little world - Things have been pretty crappy but I just keep chanting, "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming" in a sing-song voice. What can I say? I am Dory. Now to the heart of the matter.....

Way back in November, I was bored at work. The holidays were upon us and except for getting ready for the company Christmas party, things were slow. When I'm bored, I read anything I can get my hands on. I don't remember what prompted it but I decided to try and find a literal interpretation of the bible. I was trying to find something that was the exact translation, not something that had been translated from a translation, much like the King James Version. Unfortunately, it is pretty hard to find. I had to settle with the KJV but I also found a website that had the Tanakh, the Hebrew canon for the Jewish bible. I thought to myself that Jesus was Jewish so therefore this must be as close to the real thing that you can get. Then I remembered that people also spoke Aramaic and Greek (not to mention what all else) during those times. This was starting to become a project of epic proportions.

Why not just use the KJV? Because I know that the KJV is a translation and it's not a direct translation. There are several words that do not directly translate into English or the words have several different meanings depending on the context; the KJV people did the best they could. During all of this a friend asked why I don't just go to church. The answer? Because the man behind the pulpit is not only going to give a direct reading of the KJV but he/she is also going to give their own interpretation of what that reading means. I wanted an exact translation, not what someone thought it meant or what their life experiences lead them to believe the words meant. Let's face it; no matter what you read - the bible, Nancy Drew, romance novels, science fiction, poetry, prescription information - you are going to translate what you read into something you can understand or believe. I was not going to get that with a translation of a translation of a translation etc.; but I digress.

I ended up having a conversation with a guy at work and he was more than eager to bend my ear with his knowledge. For over ten years, this guy has been working with the KJV, Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible and the Interlinear Scripture Analyzer to try and get to the very first writings of the bible and get a better understanding of what was the original meaning behind the stories. Needless to say I was blown away by his dedication and tenacity to continue with his studies. I for one have never been that dedicated to anything, and I'll admit that I thought I was now in the hands of a major bible thumper; something I try to avoid at all costs. Fortunately, the more I spoke with him the more I realized that he was not pushing anything on me; he was just sharing the experience and knowledge of his search. Oddly enough, I found that we agreed on several aspects of religion in general. So now I was armed with a KJV and some compact disc to guide me on my journey.

I guess this is where I should say that I have always believed that the bible was something that a bunch of people put together for the greater good to use as a guideline. I tend to liken them to the old wives tales or fairytales that we all grew up hearing. So who actually write these little ditties down? No one knows. Scholars all over the world cannot agree to who wrote what, especially when it comes to the New Testaments. I have been told that some of the authors were friends of the apostles or not even alive when events in the New Testaments took place. If that is the case, then how can they know what happened? Some say that they are the writings of those closest to Jesus. If that is the case, did they take dictation? Did they write down word-for-word what came out of Jesus’ mouth? Highly unlikely.

So for now my search continues but I can say that I am comfortable with my feelings about religion, God & Jesus. Religion; don’t need it. God & Jesus; I do and I have them. If I do what’s right and live my life to the best of my ability, God will take care of me. When He comes to earth, I will be with Him.

Reality

2011-02-08T10:12:00.000-08:00

I have come to the conclusion that reality really does bite. Many things have happened over the past two months but the one that has struck me the most has been the death of a friends son.

Betsey and I were in school together from the 7th to the 10th grade. As with most people you know from high school, even with the best of friends, we went our different ways when she transferred schools and never spoke again. About a year ago, give or take, we reconnected via Facebook and I learned that she had been married and divorced and remarried as well as had children. Her oldest was getting ready to graduate high school and her youngest was going to be starting middle school. We actually got to see each other when I had jury duty; turned out she worked at the county courthouse. It was great to see her and see how she had matured but deep down she was still the same Betsey I remembered even though she was now called Beth.

I flipped through her FB pictures of her children, wedding pictures and her family animals. I got a sense of the woman she had become and that she still lived life to the fullest as she had all those years ago when our little group of girls got together. As with most FB users, those of us that had reconnected had even talked about getting together for dinner. In short, it was nice to reconnect and tell stories of our youth.

Last week, I was shocked to see her FB status showing that she was at the hospital. Everything was vague and I was amazed that in whatever situation had caused her emergent visit tot he hospital that she was even posting anything about her current status. Slowly over the next few days the story began to filter through her posts. I admit that I was astounded that she was even posting something so personal and devastating. Every day there were several updates about her son; turns out the oldest had found the youngest alone in his room unconscious from a game. Apparently, Beth's son was playing something called The Choking Game. The idea is for one to choke oneself (or be choked by a friend) until they pass out so that the chokee can experience a 'high' or the sensation of floating. From what I understand this is the new trend among tweens and teens, the new drug. Having never heard about it before, I was completely shocked and thought 'How fucking stupid can someone be'. Why in God's name anyone would want to try something like that is completely beyond my understanding. After reading some of the links that Beth posted, the most astounding information I found was that 40% of the kids that participate in the game do not believe that anything bad can happen. Again, how fucking stupid can someone be?!

Over the weekend I kept up with Beth's posts about her sons progress and her wishes for prayers to help her son fight for his life. I read about the different tests the hospital staff was running and about the impending brain swelling that inevitably happened. Unfortunately, yesterday, Beth's son passed away at the tender age of 13. As of this moment I have not been able to relay a coherent thought to Beth about my sorrow for her. I cannot imagine the pain she must be feeling and the questions that must be running through her head. I keep thinking that she must be beside herself and completely incapable of reason or thought; isn't that the way parents are supposed to be when they loose a child? Turns out that Beth made an incredibly strong gesture that I am sure I would never be able to do; she has donated her sons organs so that other may live. I am completely humbled by her strength to give in such a desperate time of grief, yet I am unable to vocalize those thoughts.

Loss is a horrible experience but I cannot imagine the loss of a child. Having had very little experience in the death department, I cannot fathom how someone is able to see beyond their great loss so that they may help others. I have found that an old childhood friend is hero. I can only hope, that should something like her loss ever happen to me, that I am able to handle myself with the strength and grace that Beth has exhibited.

For those readers that have children, I urge you to familiarize yourself with The Choking Game and be aware that this game exists.

Reviews

2010-12-21T07:34:00.000-08:00

This past weekend, Julio was having some problems; his alternator and battery were fighting and the alternator won. I was stuck at home the entire weekend but I was not bored. No, no my friends, I was not bored because Santa had left me a gift at the first of the month. While at work, Santa's elves slipped into my humble abode and replaced my 15 year old television with a newer and younger model. I walked into the house and greeted Yen and Maddie and then promptly went to my bedroom to change my clothes. Upon entering my bedroom, I noticed an afghan lying on the bed that had not been there when I left that morning. Perplexed, I shrugged my shoulders and made a start for the bathroom. The door was partially closed which caused my pulse to escalate. Someone has been in my house, I wildly thought before trying to calm down. I glanced back at the bed and the tell-tell afghan and noticed something even more peculiar. Something box shaped and large was sitting against the wall and was covered with quilts. This actually brought me some ease and had me pulling out my phone.

Me: Please tell me you have been in my house.
PU#1: What? What are you talking about?
Me: Mom, someone has been in my house and I need for you to tell me that it was you and/or Dad.
PU#1: B, I don't understand; someone has been in your house?
Me: Yes! Things are out of place, the bathroom door was almost closed; someone has been here.
PU#1: Calm down and go to your living room.
Me: What?
PU#1: Go to your living room.
Me: I'm here, now what?
PU#1: Look at your entertainment center.

Needless to say many squeals and exclamations followed PU#1s last instructions. Thanks to Santa's elves, I now had a brand spanking new television with...wait for it....NETFLICKS CAPABILITY!

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THIS T.V.! And thanks to said t.v., I was able to keep myself entertained during my weekend. Here's how:

Mockingbird Don't Sing - Very good and disturbing documentary about Katie Standon (pseudonym)
The Proposal - Typical rom-com but I love Sandra Bullock so I succumbed to the pressure of watching and I'm glad I did; Betty White was hilarious!
Poetic Justice - Typical drama of life in Compton (or at least how Hollywood believe life in Compton to be) but it was good. I enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed Boyz N the Hood and Dead Presidents. Plus this one has Maya Angelo's poetry spoken throughout the film.
My Dog: An Unconditional Love Story - Documentary about NY stars and their canine companions.
Hounddog - I was not impressed and I had high hopes for this one. I thought with Robin Wright Penn, David Morse and Piper Laurie, I could not go wrong. I was wrong.
The Princess and the Frog - very cute Disney installment
The Young Victoria - This was good and Emily Blunt was fantastic.
Zombieland - This was hysterical, much like Sean of the Dead.
Caligua - I tried but I could not get though this one. It was a complete failure and I was a bit horrified to see a young Helen Mirren completely naked.

I also have been watching episodes of 21 Jumpstreet thinking I would have enjoyed them at least as much as I did as a tween. Unfortunately, I do find myself occupied with other things while the show is on in the background. Then again, it is nice to stroll down memory land.

Revelations

2010-12-17T07:07:00.000-08:00

Last month my Aunt Pete passed away after a 15 year battle with Alzheimer's. Her passing did not shock me; I more or less nodded my head and said 'finally'. After 15 years of suffering, I am glad that she has moved on and is now at peace. The ceremony was very simple and small; it did not seem fitting to the larger than life woman I remember from my childhood.

Aunt Pete was my favorite great aunt on my father's side of the family. Whenever Junior and I were visiting, Aunt Pete could always be counted on to make sure we had a good time. I remember many summers of black berry picking, digging for worms, fishing and just walking back and forth between my grandparents and Aunt Pete's. Between her and her husband, Uncle Arb, life was always good when we came to visit.

After the funeral, Mel and I were talking and she gave me some rather startling news. Of our grandmother's siblings, 5 of the 9 are currently suffering from (including my grandmother) or have died from complications brought on by Alzheimer's. Of the remaining four, one died as a child/young adult and one from cancer, long before Alzheimer's would have made it's presence known. FIVE, that's more than 50%! Very scary indeed! Thanks for putting that thought into my head, Mel; it is going to stay with me for quite a while.

On a side note, no one in the family knows how Aunt Pete became Aunt Pete. My entire life, she was always Pete; I didn't even know her last name! Turns out I was not alone in this, Mel and myself along with our parents and cousins did not know Aunt Pete's last name. How sad is that I ask you!?!

PU#1 said, 'How am I supposed to know? She has always been Pete! It was never Mrs. So&So. No one ever called her by her real name (Eddie Marty - don't ask), not even her sisters and brothers. She has always been Pete'.

So in honor of Eddie Marty Williams Key, I salute you Aunt Pete. I will never forget you or your wonderful spark of life.

Life

2010-12-16T06:56:00.000-08:00

Things have been pretty usual lately; nothing really to comment about except that the Christmas season is here. So here a story that will hopefully make you smile.

Jake has been spending more time with me. After Thanksgiving down South, he insisted on spending the night with me. We had a great time until the events of the day took its toll and he had a mini meltdown.

J: I want to go home.
Me: Sorry bud, but you can't go home tonight
J: I want to go home. (sniffle, sniffle - no tears)
Me: I said no. It's late and I am not taking you home.
J: Mom will come and get me. (still no tears but very very whiney)
Me: No she won't
J: Yes, she will
Me: No she won't
J: Yes, she will (you get the picture? this went on for a few minutes)
Me: Fine! Call your mom.
J: Momma, I wanna come home. (silence) But I want...(more silence, tears are now welling) Momma.... (hands me the phone)
SIL: I can't come get him; I took a sleeping pill about 30 minutes ago and Junior is already asleep.
Me: That's fine with me; I already told him no.
SIL: You did?
Me: Yep, but he was positive that you would come get him.
(next morning - PU#2 arrives to pick up Jake)
PU#2: Come on Jake! We gotta run some errands and then head home.
J: No, Paps; I'm spending the night again.

Go figure!

OMG! ROFLOL

2010-11-10T06:44:00.000-08:00

This is hilarious! She gets loud at times and her language is very colorful but she is very, very funny.

Just A Couple Of Things

2010-11-03T05:43:00.000-07:00

Thanks to watching the first season of Glee, I have had Josh Groban stuck in my head for days. I don't even know the song AND I don't like Josh Groban, plus he didn't even sing on the show. Unless you are Harmonica or Columbus, who dislike musicals, you should be watching this show.

I have realized that with each passing year that my body is aging. Every time I sneeze, I pee just a teeny, weenie bit.

Yen is getting old. Every morning for the past few weeks, I have been greeted with some mysterious substance (read food here) that she has upchucked.

My telephone etiquette has not improved. I owe so many phone calls that I’m never going to catch up. Maybe there is a twelve step program that someone could suggest?

Lord Help Me!

2010-10-12T08:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I turned the tender age of 37 and it was a horrible day. No, I did not lament over the passing years. I was not depressed because I am another year closer to 40. I did not tick off all the people/possessions/dreams missing from my life; I happen to like my life. However, I did miss my PawPaw.

By all accounts my PawPaw was a great man, not only in stature but also in spirit. From what I understand, he was a stern man but I never saw any evidence. I guess the previous five grandchildren had already softened him by the time I came along. He would go on to have eleven natural grandchildren and an additional four step-grandchildren. In speaking with MawMaw yesterday, she brought to light the fact that she and PawPaw never imagined that they would have fifteen grandchildren and sixteen great-grandchildren. Of course I told her it was all her fault because she had five children herself. Her reply, "Yes and I assume you believe that Frank had nothing to do with that."

In my memory, PawPaw was a man of few words unless he was speaking about the Lord (which he managed to work into every conversation), teasing his grandchildren without mercy or beating me at gin rummy or playing his clarinet with me (I was the only grandchild who took up the instrument, of which the man was a pro!). What I remember is that he was always there to make me smile, help me in my struggle with my belief system or show me how to hold my mouth to get the perfect B flat on my clarinet.

Yesterday it hit me hard that PawPaw was gone. Seven years ago to the day, I was in a funeral home sitting next to my mother and my cousin Niki, trying to hold it all together for my mom as family gathered around. Several things I distinctly remember about that day:
*My youngest uncle wishing me happy birthday and I didn't know how to respond to the absurdity to the situation. I wanted to scream at him "Yes, it's my birthday! Yes, I'm 30! And my grandfather is dead!"
*Not knowing how to act around my mother. With the exception of my beloved Doc, whom I had lost the previous February, I had never 'experienced' death. Yes, I had lost my uncle Jimmy, Niki's dad, but I was relatively young and I remember that Mom tried to shield her children from the loss. This was the full blown experience of the loss of a man whom I ran too when I needed a break from college but didn't want to go home. I didn't know if I was supposed to wail and scream or remain stoically strong for my parents. This ended up causing a little disappointment from PU#1 but a couple of weeks later when we were able to discuss it, we both understood where we had made mistakes.
*The rage I felt against certain cousins who could not the simple and vital wishes of my grandparents to abstain from perfume and make-up, as the scents often cause my grandmother to become sick. My mother and her siblings had arranged a hour long closed viewing just so my grandmother would be able to attend without being bombarded with the lingering effects of people's perfumes. In the end, she had to leave early as the grief she was experiencing along with the scents of my cousins were making her sick.
*Watching my grandmother, supported by Bobby Frank, walk to my PawPaw's casket and state that she loved him and would see him soon. This of course sent Mom, Loretta, Niki and myself into a fresh bought of tears. I remember sitting there, holding my mothers hand and cradling Niki against my side as we all sobbed.
*Having the support of a good friend of mine, who did her best to help me through the struggle for the following months.
*Seeing my mother's co-workers travel the two hours to attend the hour long viewing; knowing how important it would be to my mom to have her friends there.
*Having my dad's older brother and his family walk me through the loss and try to give me a happy birthday at the same time.

Everything seemed so surreal, so foreign and so wrong. While I know that these events happened, they may not have happened in life as how they happened in my mind. This is what I remember; other things I remember:
*Calling my PawPaw first after I was saved. I knew that if anyone could understand my continuing struggle with religion it would be him. Even after being saved, PawPaw still answered doubtful questions and gave his insight to what religion was all about. I'm grateful that MawMaw has stepped into his shoes.
*Being teased every time I visited. PawPaw continued to regale about my adventures as a toddler, especially when I called him a 'poo-poo' head and pleaded with him not to tell my parents.
*Standing in the living room of his house while he married my cousin Gina. No other family members were there except my grandparents and myself. It was truly special.
*Sitting at the dinning room table with PawPaw and Junior, playing cards, while unbeknown to us, a tornado tore through the small town in which he lived.
*Walking down the hill to the post office with PawPaw, knowing that he would take me to the Piggly Wiggle to get an ice cream sandwich.
*Pulling out the cardboard boxes that he kept on hand so that we could all slide down the massive hill that was his yard.

As I said, it hit me hard yesterday. My parentals called and sang Happy Birthday to me; this was something that my grandparents did for as long as I can remember. When PawPaw passed, it stopped. Not long after the first phone call, I got my yearly birthday call from my grandmother sans the song. It was all I could do not to burst into tears while I was on the phone with her. I tried working to forget about it but I soon found myself in the stairwell crying. On my way to my parents for the birthday dinner of paella (which is a story in itself), I held it together but as soon as I saw my mother I couldn't hold it together anymore. I didn't want to cause her any sadness but I was broken. It is bad enough to have lost my grandfather but for it to happen so close to my birthday, I get a yearly reminder as do my mother and grandmother. That is not to say that this is the only time we think about him but, at least for me, it's like another slap in the face. I talked to Mom and then she told me something that made me feel a whole lot better. I realized that even in her deepest grief, she was thinking about me and how I would feel. My PawPaw died on October 10th of 2003; my grandmother wanted his viewing and burial to take place as soon as possible so that she could grieve in private. All agreed to have these events happen on October 11th; except my mother. She insisted that she would not bury her father on her daughters birthday. I guess she figured it would be hard enough to celebrate with his death so close to my birth that she refused to have them happen on the same day. Did she do this for herself? Maybe; if for no other reason than to handle her own grief a little better. But being her daughter and knowing her as I know her, having her as my best friend, I know she was thinking of me. For this I will be eternally grateful.

Now I realize that instead of letting the grief overwhelm me, I should celebrate not only my own life but the life of my PawPaw. So Happy Birthday to me!

I love you PawPaw and I love your daughter for the woman you helped her to become.

P.S. - Yesterday, MawMaw said to tell her daughter and son-in-law that if I did not have a good birthday that they would have to answer to her. Mom & Dad; you have some explaining to do in regards to that paella. :-)

Pretty Sure It's Not For Me

2010-09-29T07:18:00.000-07:00

Before I get started, I have to give a shout-out to Norman. He is my first comment by someone I don't know; thanks for de-lurking Norman. Now Blogger said you were spam but I decided that he/she was wrong; and if he/she was right I don't want to know. I like living in my little world. I was beginning to think that no one other than Harmonica was reading this thing. Thanks again and I hope that I hear more from you in the future.

I am constantly amazed at what amazes me. I have always thought that people can't surprise me but it happens on such a continual basis that I know longer think I am as liberal as I portray. Last night I watched Sister Wives On Demand. It's a new reality show that focuses on a plural marriage between one man and three women.

I spent the first ten minutes wondering why someone would want to commit their self to three separate women and why someone would want to commit their self to one man and two other women. I'm still trying to understand. There were a couple of things that bothered me about the whole situation.

The husband kept talking about how stretched he was for time and he kept a schedule to make sure that his wives got to spend time with him. He talked about how he had to be fair so that no one wife got jealous because of lack of attention. I'm not sure but I think that if he had said he kept a schedule so that he could fit himself into his wives schedules then I might have been able to stomach it better. Let's face it, he is one man and they are three women; who is the one who needs to make himself available? I'm just sayin'.
There was a big family meeting (16 in total) to discuss bringing another wife into the fold. Now according to their testimonials, all three marriages were in place before the first child was born; sixteen years later, he wants to bring in another wife who already has three children. This would bring their total to twenty-one. It seems as though they are trying to best these people ** in an unconventional way. Again, I'm just sayin'.
One of the wives wasn't all that happy about bringing another woman into the family. When she stated that she had feelings of jealousy, the husband looked incredulous. I would think that if he was truly as attentive as he portrayed himself to be he would have been aware of the jealousy and corrected wife #1 when she said it was something she would have to work through. I would have preferred to hear him say that it was something they would all work through.
I didn't notice any true affection between the husband and his wives. Yes, there were a couple of cheek kisses but mostly all they did was side-hug each other. Also, the husband seemed to be extra attentive to his children, almost as if he knew that there were cameras and he wanted to make sure he was picked up for another TLC season. I understand that this is TLCs goal but I can't understand why anyone would want to have a microscope on their lives; especially with all the bad publicity that plural marriages have gotten over the recent years. On a side note, the husband was quick to point out that he was not LDS or involved with "that Texas group".

Now, I'm a firm believer that you should live your life how you see fit and you are only accountable to yourself and those who depend on you. I do not follow any type of religious life style but that does not mean that I belittle or think ill of those who do. I simply believe that you worship your God, Allah, Mohammed etc. in your own way and I'll worship in mine. I believe that the world was created many, many, many millennia ago, unlike this Christian group or this organization. I do not believe that the bible is the actual (read that again people, I said actual) word of God. I do believe that the bible is a group of interpretations of stories of God & Jesus written by men (not that different from Jesus himself), many of which came many years after Jesus was crucified. Unfortunately for me, I live in the South where if you are not a Confederate, Conservative Christian, you are going to run into many people who are bound and determined to tell you how you are wrong, what you need to do to become right and how you should agree with the party line. This group, I believe, would also include some members of my extended family. Hey – it’s family, so what are you going to do?

I guess the whole point of this run-on thought is that I may not understand why some Mormons believe in plurality; why Catholics believe that only priests can talk to God; why Holiness believe in talking in tongues; why Muslim Extremists believe in sacrificing people for the greater good; why Jehovah Witnesses believe that only 144,000 people with be with God in heaven; why Jews believe that the Messiah has not come; why Native Americans believe in reincarnation; why Scientologist believe that psychiatry is destructive; why Buddhists believe in Karma etc.; the point is that each group believes what they believe and I believe what I believe and in the end I am only accountable to myself, my family and my interpretation of God.

**Speaking of the Duggars - Last night I was watching TLC while working on an afghan and I was horrified to discover that I can name all 19 of the Duggar children...in order. Heave help me!

Discoveries

2010-09-14T08:06:00.000-07:00

I have found the most perfect morsel of heaven that anyone would want; Starbucks Caramel Macchiato.

What? This have been around forever; what is she smoking?

Yes, my friends the Caramel Macchiato has been around forever and it is nothing new, nor is it new to me. However the Starbucks Caramel Macchiato ICE CREAM is new to me and Starbucks has hit the nail on the head! Three distinct flavors and when you get a bite of all three it is like an explosion in your mouth. Absolutely divine!

In the past two weeks we have celebrated the aging of both my parents, PU#1 is 59 & PU#2 made it to 60. We had a wonderful time celebrating. For PU#1 I made creole shrimp and grits and they were fantastic. Even Mother liked it and she doesn't like grits! For PU#2 The whole gang was there, so Daddy roasted a chicken and I made salmon fillets stuffed with spinach and feta. We also seared some wonderful Parmesan crusted scallops (my favorite!) and then we spent some time dancing around the living room. The pics are blurry because I only had my phone but I think you will get the general idea of fun had by all.

PU#2 getting down to ABBA

PU#1 trying to get Budzo to dance

In other news; one pretty little lady scored 2 goals in her last soccer game helping to lead the Fireflies to a 5-3 victory over whoever they were playing.

And last but not least it was Scooter's turn to stay with me this past weekend. We went to the Space & Rocket Center, mainly because he wanted to, and we had an okay time. The only major problem I had was that the place is not worth the price of admission (even with my corporate discount). Most of the exhibits are the same ones that were displayed when we moved here in 1985. Only one ride was open and the grounds and buildings look unkempt and rundown. Having said that, we did enjoy the IMAX movies on the Hubble telescope and Scooter had a blast on the rock wall.

Scooter is the one in the blue & orange shirt

Inside one of the Apollo missions cockpit

How To Tell If You Live In The Geek Capital Of The World

2010-07-30T05:55:00.000-07:00

Saw a car this morning that had a bumper sticker that said: Starfleet Academy.

Definitely living in the geek capital of the world.

The Return of the Duckman

2010-06-28T08:14:00.000-07:00

After my first meeting with Duckie, I wasn't too confident that he would be able to fix my cable problem. As I said in my previous posting, I was on the phone with Comcast 20 minutes after he left to schedule another appointment to fix my cable. The next day, I answer a knock on my door only to find the Duckman standing in front of me; stunned. He was surprised to see me opening the door!

Me: Hello
Him: What happened! It's not fixed?
Me: Went out again about 20 minutes after you left.
Him: Man! What is going on? (this question was rhetorical)

So Duckie entered and again began checking signals and the like, finding nothing.

Him: Guess I'm going to have to change out your box.
Me: (Why the hell didn't you try that first instead of putting two holes in my wall!) Okay

I now have cable with no problems! And I swear as we were saying our goodbyes, I could faintly hear the strains of OMD's If You Leave. All I needed was a tacky pink homemade dress.

Peculiar 24 Hours

2010-06-23T09:32:00.000-07:00

I have been having trouble with my cable service since I moved into my new place. I have made several calls to the company and I have always been treated well. Yesterday, a cable rep was coming over to check all the stuff they check to determine what was wrong. I answered the knock on the door and was flabbergasted to find Duckie standing before me, sans the glasses and shoes. I felt any minute he was going to break out into "Try a Little Tenderness" and start hip thrusting around my living room.
So Duckie rooted around behind the entertainment center, went outside to check something, came back to check something, went back outside to check something....you get the picture. Suddenly I hear banging on the wall which of course put the "oh shit" factor into the evening. Apparently Duckie had been in the attic of the building and had pulled my cable cord up the wall completely out of his reach. Duckie created a new opening in the wall to find said cable and determined he had in fact lost it. He then disappeared to cancel the rest of his service calls and returned with a drill. Duckie explained that he was going to run me a brand new cable line and it would end all of my problems. Next I hear the familiar sound of a drill being pushed through my wall from the outside. Suddenly a long drill bit appears in my living room. Now I have two holes in my wall.
Duckie ran his cable line and hooked everything up, half ass cleaned up his mess and stayed around for a few minutes to make sure everything was A-okay. Twenty minutes after Duckie finished his 3 hour service call and in the middle of "Deadliest Catch" 2nd to last appearance of Captain Phil Harris and my cable craps out again. Comcast has put me on call today to run home and be available for them until 7pm today.

*******************************************************

This morning I was traveling to Chick-fil-a to get some breakfast, which will allow me to go off on a tangent about gravy but I refuse to allow myself to digress. Anyway, I spotted a pot hole in the road and moved to avoid it. Unfortunately, I didn't move far enough.
My back passenger side tire found the "Oh did I do that" pot hole and with the accuracy of Wild Bill Hickok, the tire came down in the middle of said pot hole. The impact was great enough to rattle my teeth...and make me drop my cigarette.
Which rolled down the steering column.
And dropped in to a groove between the steering column and the dash board.
And fell through the groove between the steering column and the dash board and into the actual steering column.
Still lit.
Can't find the damn thing.

Announcements

2010-06-14T06:26:00.000-07:00

I have be extremely remiss in a couple of things; first and foremost being the announcement of Tam's new addition, Gia. Gia was born on May 18th and she is one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. Congrats Tam! Your daughter is beautiful and I know you are going to be a wonderful mom!

I have moved! The complex I was living at kept going up on my rent so I decided to find another place to call home. Now you might be asking 'Why don't you buy a house'. Because I don't want the upkeep of a house/lawn and all that it entails. I enjoy apartment living. The complex I have moved to is older that the previous, but I like it.
A big shout out to my parental units, Junior, SIL, Chocolate' and my uncle for helping me move. It was a completely uneventful move and I know that without their help I would still be moving.

Other than tCftBL trying to con PU#1 into something that would benefit only tCftBL, life has been pretty uneventful. Hopefully I'll be able to update more often (of course this mean, hopefully I'll be motivated to update more often). Til then...

Savior To All, Saint To None

2010-06-10T07:45:00.000-07:00

Last night I was watching Les Miserables in concert. This is my all time favorite Broadway show so when I saw I could Netflix it, I was in a giddy, child-like state. So Eponine has just died in Marius' arms and I'm trying to contain my tears when my phone rings.

Hello?

B, this M; the cleaning lady.

Oh, hey! What's up? (thinking: Why is the owner of the cleaning company my job uses call me at 8pm)

The power is out at the building.

Okay....

My cleaning crew is stuck on the 2nd floor of the building and can't get out.

Oh my God! (thinking: They can't get out! Gotta call security! Wait!....how are they stuck?) What do you mean they are stuck?

They can't use their scan cards to get out of the building.

Their scan cards? They don't have to use their scan cards to get out. They don't even have to use their scan cards to use the elevator to go DOWN; not that they can because there is no electricity.

Exactly!

M, across the hall from the elevator is a set of stairs. They can use those and they will end up in the downstairs lobby.

Okay; let me try to walk them out of the building. If I don't call back, everything is fine.

Okay.

So here is what I can't resist -
12 Mexicans are stuck in a building with a priest, a rabbi and a redneck.....

Choo-Choo

2010-04-12T06:03:00.000-07:00

Jake's birthday was the 5th! The little man is a whopping 4. We celebrated Saturday with a train theme as Jake, obviously, likes trains. PU#1 came up with a great idea for a cake. She got all the stuff together and ran with it.

How about a few closeups

I don't think that Duff Goldman will be calling either of us any time soon but PU#1 & I were both proud

More pics of the festivities

Me and my boys

Don't Ask

I think she is glad it is over

Ladies & Gentlemen...The Bean

The Proud Parents

She Isn't Smarter Than A 5th Grader

2010-04-08T17:05:00.000-07:00

It's a Thursday night and I'm watching TV while waiting for my whipping cream to cool so I can finish a birthday cake for PU#1s boss. Yes, Harmonica, it is your favorite. Anyway, I'm watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire which I'm sure is a rerun. So they have this 5th grade teacher on and after all the joke about being smarter than the class that she teaches the game begins. Now this is what surprised me.

Question: (something like this) Which state, which includes the city of Birmingham, names hematit it's state mineral?

Selections: Pennsylvania, Alabama, something else and another state

Teacher's Answer: I make all my students learn the name of all their states and their capitals. My final answer is Alabama.

My question: When did Birmingham become the state capital of Alabama?

I'm just saying...if you are going to go on national TV, you might want to make sure you know your state capitals.

Can I Just Say Something

2010-03-22T08:50:00.000-07:00

It's frickin' snowing in north east Alabama

It's March 22nd, the third day of spring

It's frickin' snowing in north east Alabama

Conversations With Friends

2010-03-19T19:22:00.000-07:00

So I have a tendency to be a solitary person when entering a new job. I like to scope people out, listen to what others say about them and watch the interactions between everybody. Usually the people who talk about others are the ones I stay away from; wasn't always like that but I like to think I have matured a little. Once I have gotten to know who I can trust, I like to welcome them into my world with open arms and hope that they do the same. In the past Harmonica and Tam have been two of these people and I have been the one to benefit from our friendships. Where I work now, I have Columbus. Every morning Columbus comes into my office and we catch up on the happenings of each others lives from the night before; trust me when I say one of us always has some sort of drama to share. We use my office because I'm away from the rest of our department and for the most part we don't really care for the people in our department; so gossip always makes an entrance into our morning reports.

I didn't get my normal report this morning because Columbus' mother came to town for a visit and she took the day off. However, she and I were blazing up the text message system on our iphones catching up. Here is just a brief glimpse of what was said:

Columbus: So how was work
Me: Like a graveyard
C: I bet because it was so pretty outside no one wanted to be there
Me: Probably
(more chit-chat about her day with her mom and aunt)
C: How was your day
Me: The most exciting thing was the new paper cut I got from a folder. I had to get a new folder for one of the 2008 vendors because I bled all over the old one. That was the highlight.
Me (again): And I didn't tell you that to make you feel bad. Just pointing out how unnecessary it was for me to be here today.
Me (again): This is the most conversation I have had all day.
C: OMG. I am cracking up over here
Me: Glad I could entertain

Now as an average reader of my blog (I know you are out there), you are probably scratching your head as to why Columbus, her husband and I find this funny. There are many mitigating factors that have become a bit of a back story to what I was hired to do and what I actually do and Mr. & Mrs. Columbus are privy to this back story and the thought of me running around my office, cussing up a storm while bleeding all over the place from a paper cut just has then rolling in the aisle. I have to admit it is kinda funny.

P.S.
When Mr. Columbus said "She needs to blog that", I realized that I didn't have a nickname for Columbus. We texted about it for a minute and...

Me: I need a nickname for you for my blog. By now I have usually given you one but I have failed in this part of our friendship
C: Loser; LOL
Me: LMAO (doesn't take a lot to keep us entertained)
C: Ummmm, I dont know what my nickname could be
Me: So far all I can come up with is Columbus, for the obvious reasons
C: Gotcha
Me: What about Sookie...but it could only be read like the way Bill says it on the show and I can't figure out how to write it that way
C: use u's?

So there you have it dear readers, two challenges of sorts

1. Give me some ideas for a nickname for Columbus

2. Figure out how to spell Sookie the way this guy says it - Bill

Hatfields and McCoys

2010-03-18T06:37:00.000-07:00

Apparently I am in an ongoing feud with my credit card company. Most of what has happened is below; am I completely going overboard here? As I do have a tendency to speak before I think, I thought I might poll the three of you that read my little blog.

INITAL MESSAGE

Last week (2nd week of March) I spoke with a customer service representative regarding the account protection service I had on my card. I explained that I wanted to cancel the service and I received the usual "Thank You Ma'am", "It will be my pleasure to help you with this" response. I also received the expected sell from the representative to stay enrolled in the program. I declined several times and eventually had to get forceful with the representative in order to decline the offer and have the protection removed from my account. I was quit indignant that the representative felt she knew what was best for me and continued to argue with me instead of doing as I requested.

Today (March 16, 2010) I received a letter thanking me for my continued participation in the account protection program and informing me of my new lower rate. I called a spoke with a different representative and explained the situation and received the same "Thank you ma'am, I'll be happy to help you"; which incidentally was much harder to understand as the representatives English was quit poor. I again had to argue with your representative about removing the account protection from my account. Needless to say, I was not happy. Again, I had to resort to force for the gentleman to do as I requested and eventually requested to speak to his supervisor. When I requested a manager, your representative was all too willing to then remove the protection service from my account. I insisted on speaking with a manager. I was place on hold for all of a minute before your representative returned stating that all of the managers were busy and that he would be happy to cancel the protection service. I requested that he continue with the cancellation but I would still like to speak with a manager. He explained that the hold time could be lengthy and I explained that I didn't care; I insisted on speaking with a manager.

Less than two minutes later, I was speaking with a managing representative. I explained my displeasure and again received the standard "Thank you ma'am, I apologize". The manager said he would remove the protection from my account and again apologized. I then asked who I should call when the account protection showed up on my next statement because I frankly did not believe that the service had been removed. Here is the kicker: He told me to call the same customer service number and I would be taken care of!

To make a long story short, I am quite upset with the level of so called customer service I received. I do not appreciate having to argue with your representatives in order to achieve something I want that as a customer, I should receive. A simple request was made and instead of having that request fulfilled I had to argue with your representatives who made me feel as though they knew what was better for me and my situation. I can say that once my account balance is zero (which with the interest rate I currently have, it will take quite a while) I will be closing this account.
I would recommend that not only should your company hire representative who speak English with the efficiency of at least a 5th grader, but also that you train your representatives to actually LISTEN to your customers and bend over backwards to make us happy.

Thank you for your time and I truly hope that this message is received by someone who is actually interested in helping your customers.

Respectfully,
BK

THEIR REPLY:

This message is in response to your recent inquiry concerning your credit card account.

We understand your concern with the decrease of your credit limit. We have made a business decision to re-evaluate our current credit limit structure to reduce our losses across all Metris accounts and have adjusted your credit limit.

In order to further assist you with this matter, we suggest that you contact us at 1-888-333-2201 and a Customer Care Representative will be able to provide you with more information. Representatives are available to speak with you from Monday - Friday 6 a.m. - 11 p.m. CT; Saturday and Sunday 7 a.m. - 8 p.m. CT.

Thank you for your inquiry. We value your business and hope we can be of service to you again in the future.

Sincerely,
Sai
Account Central Specialist
Cardmember Services

MY REPLY:

My original email had nothing to do with my credit limit. It had everything to do with the lack of customer service I received when I asked that the account protection service be removed from my card. Did you even read my original message? Nowhere in the original message do I even mention my credit limit! I am completely amazed at the response I received from your company. It would have been better to not have received a response at all! Your response goes back to one of last comments in my original message: "train your representatives to actually LISTEN to your customers". By all that is holy, someone PLEASE read my original message and point out where I mention a concern for the reduction in my credit limit or any mention of my credit limit at all.

Respectfully,
BK

P.S.
My credit limit is the same it was before I sent my original email.

Not Much, You?

2010-03-11T15:17:00.000-08:00

Scooter spent the weekend with me a couple of weekends ago and we had fun. I dragged the boy car shopping, made him wait with me for four hours and then I decided not to buy. Then we went to PetCo and I saw the most adorable kitten available for adoption (for $125). I filled out all the paperwork but left empty handed because I wouldn't promise the woman that I would not have the kitten's front claws removed. Never mind the fact that I have a perfect history with animals. Doc was 15 when he died and Miss Priss was 18. I spent two months nursing a dying cat (Yen) back to health but waking every hour to feed her through a tube and taking her to work. All of my animals have been strays and they have been given a safe, warm, wonderful home in which to live a long healthy life. But who the hell cares what I can offer this kitten because I MIGHT have her front claws removed by my uncle who is the best vet in all of Alabama. Screw you lady!

Last weekend PU#2 and I spent Sunday together making chili and getting drunk. I had entered the chili cook off at work and wrangled Paps in to help me make chili because this is one culinary experience I had never embarked upon. Damn, was it good! Came in third place; fascist tomato eating people! If you put tomatoes in a chili it is no longer chili, people! It is stew!!!

Creek Days

2010-02-09T15:26:00.000-08:00

For the past few weeks I have been glued to my television watching season after season of Dawson's Creek. I never watched it when it was on the air but I did get caught up in it for a few weeks several years ago while looking for a job. Syndication was my saving grace! So when I finally got a job I was no longer privy to the comings and goings of the teenagers of Capeside. Now being a HUGE fan of Fringe so I have been getting a regular dose of Josh Jackson, but I began to feel nostalgic for young Pacey Witter.

I gotta say that the only saving grace of this show is in fact Josh Jackson. If I could get over the teen angst portrayed, I would say that the show had pretty good actors BUT MY GOD! These kids almost out-Salinger the Salingers and this is coming from a devoted angst watcher of Party of Five. I have never seen so much confusion, angst, teen drama in my life! What the hell did Kevin Williamson think he was doing? Maybe it's because I am like ten years older since I first watched this show, but I am completely blown away by what the writers put these kids through. And the whole Pacey/Dawson/Joey thing was just over done; I mean totally run into the ground. Then of course it became a whole will they/won't they between Pacey and Joey and then enter Dawson yet again. In the background there is Jen who is just 'trying to figure out who she is' and Jack dealing with his whole sexuality issue. Plus I have never seen anyone more of a prude than the Joey character. How does a teenager get so completely undone by even saying the word ‘sex’ when: a – is no longer a virgin, b – has a one night stand with childhood friend, c – has a college roommate who could medal in it if it was an Olympic category, d – has a man a good looking as Oliver Hudson (Eddie) playing her boyfriend, and e – is FRICKIN’ TWENTY YEARS OLD?

Now that I have made it through the last season and have drudged on to the last four episodes and the all important special finale episode, I have decided that I just might have wasted sixt....

OH THANK GOD!!! Pacey and Joey end up together! I am SO happy!! They were always meant for each other and they are just sooooo cute together. :-)

Sidebar: Not only was the Creek the launching spot for my dear Josh but also for several other cuties like Jensen Ackles who is of Dark Angel and Supernatural fame.

Pictures Of The Kids and Congrats!

2010-01-27T07:09:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to post these for a while now but I am a most forgetful person.

But first - Congrats to Harmonica, her hubby and son and welcome to their new baby girl born on her momma's birthday!

Look What I Can Do

2010-01-27T05:33:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine started these painting "classes" and it is the most fun I have had in ages; plus I found out that I can actually paint.

With direction.

And visual aids.

And an instructor standing over my shoulder.

Just A Few Pics From Thanksgiving & Christmas

2009-12-30T07:16:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving 2009

Most of the Family

Our Youngest Addition - Mel's Little Man (too cute!)

The Brothers

The Kiss-Fest Has Started

JoAnn Said No,No, No

Junior and SIL

PU #1 &#2

Mel and Paul

MawMaw & PawPaw (60+ years and going strong!)

I Cannot Keep Jake Out Of My Car

CHRISTMAS 2009

Jake - This Was An All Day Project And I Finally Got The Smile!

Junior - Acting Like One Of The Kids

Bean

PU#2 - Our Own Santa Claus

SIL - After Breakfast Neither Of Us Wanted To Move Off The Couch

PU #1

Budzo, Scooter & Bean - Jake Refused To Sit

Budzoski

Jake - Trying To Be Funny

I Never Knew

2009-12-30T07:04:00.000-08:00

How big of a geek I really am and that I'm not very good at it. All because I believe that Picard is a much better captain than Kirk. I'm just saying....

Would You?

2009-11-22T16:40:00.001-08:00

This weekend my oldest nephew spent the weekend with me. We had such a good time hanging out together and I hope that as he gets older, he still wants to come visit.

I did have something happen that put a damper on Friday night. I updated my status on Facebook and posted Budzo's picture letting all of my friends know what we were doing for the weekend. One of my 'friends' IM'd me less than 10 minutes later and commented on his picture. My nephew has been growing his hair out and it is now down to his shoulders. I think it looks good on him and he likes it. Something I didn't know is that he is growing his hair to donate to Locks of Love. How many 11 year old boys do that? Anyway, the message I got from my 'friend' said something along the lines of this:

Oh my God, look at his hair! It is so long! You should tell him to cut it because he looks like a girl or a white trash boy.

I was such in a state of shock from reading her message that it took me several minutes to respond. I told her that I liked it and so did he. Her response:

Oh - LOL - You two have a good weekend.

Now who in their right mind says something like that about a child? How can someone call you friend and then say something like that? I think part of this may be my fault because on several occasions I have had a conversation with this friend regarding my brother. My comments about my brother are rarely censored or kind. Maybe she felt that because I talk about my brother in the way that I do, that it would be okay for her to talk about his son. But do my actions justify hers? And even if the justification is there, does that mean it is okay for her to talk about my brother's child and not my brother himself? Am I making too much out of this? Am I letting my somewhat recent experiences with this friend guide me into finding the wrong in this situation?

I don't know but I do know that I am not inclined to continue on in this friendship. I really believe that regardless of our past conflicts and good times, what she said was unacceptable.

Falling In Love

2009-11-14T09:03:00.000-08:00

I just love this time of year and doesn't Julio look so cute against the fall colors?

Second Shower Of The Day

2009-11-12T08:56:00.001-08:00

I had to go out today and purchase some things for our company’s upcoming Thanksgiving party (I know you want to be me don’t ya!). After buying decorations and table cloths, I decided to run across the street and get Julio washed. He has been a little worse for the wear lately and had developed this nice coat of blackish, greenish mold on the trunk. So I run over there, pay my money, roll the windows up and position Julio so the little conveyor belt will pull us along into the little wash tunnel.

Something I should mention here; a couple of months ago Julio had a little trouble performing. He couldn’t keep his window up, particularly the driver’s side window. After much frustration, Ricky, my mechanic, was able to get make everything work by installing his own form of Viagra – a new window motor. The only problem was that while the window would meet the seal, it didn’t actually create a true seal. I hadn’t really paid any attention because…well you know; the damn thing worked.

Back to the wash – We are pulled forward and I can almost hear Julio humming at the thought of the massage he was about to get when the water started. Need I say more? You guessed it, the left side of my body was now wet. Water, soap, suds, that wax stuff; all coming in through that little itty bitty crack. I am now wet and I swear I can hear Julio sniggering. I guess I learned my lesson, we have a date with Ricky to fix the window.

More Birthdays!

2009-11-11T15:30:00.000-08:00

November is jam packed full of birthdays in my little world. First Budzo had his birthday and turned the big 11! No photos of the festivities because I was sick as a dog and didn't get to attend. However I do have it on good authority that he loved his DS games from his Aunt B. I haven't heard one peep from him but what are you gonna do? He's 11!

Yesterday, my dear friend Tam celebrated another year on this earth. Tam and I haven't known each other long, but we have become fast friends. Working together in the pit of hell was probably the clincher in forming our bond and she was one of the only reasons that made work fun. Tam and Cindy-loo-hoo became my partners in crime; well as much crime we could get into working for a bunch of Seventh Day people. It was the after work get togethers that bonded us together. Nothing tops Tam getting...well plastered. Already funny and pretty...ahhh...liberal in speaking, Tam just goes over the top. That's why she is the other raisin in my corn flakes. Love you Tam and I can't wait to meet Tam Jr.

Tomorrow my cousin that shoulda been my sister is growing one year older. Mel and I didn't really care for each other too much when we were growing up. Apart from the fact that we rarely saw each other, I thought she was a snob and she thought I was bitchy. It wasn't until we were actually adults (a term I use loosely here) that we connected. Turns out we had a whole lot in common. It was through many family get togethers that Mel and I got to know each other; sloughed off our preconceived ideas and became sisters. Mel has become as close to me as some friends that I have had since high school. I love you Mel and I hope to see you soon.

Now I am over my sickness and ready to take on the world again. I think with Mel and Tam, along with Harmonica and Chocolate, I think I can be like Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic - the King...well Queen I guess...of the world.

Or at least the rest of the week :-)

Ho Hum

2009-10-26T10:29:00.000-07:00

Since Bean's birthday, things have been pretty slow in my little world. Budzo's is in a couple of weeks and he wants a soccer field cake. The boy told me that if it was too hard that he would come up with something else. A soccer field vs the castle? Of course I'm going with the soccer field - it's a sheet cake with plastic figurines. How easy can you get?

Junior and I have had a small falling out over him being a monumental asshole; but what else is new? The new part is that he used his kids against me; like they were leverage to get me to do what he wanted. WTF - I really don't understand how we have the same genetic makeup and turned out so differently. Whatever. Since that happened I have been in a bit of a funk because I didn't get my Budzo weekend.

Tam has great news to which I have been privileged. She is keeping it to herself and I should probably do the same but since none of her friends read this blog; I think the secret will be safe. After months of trying, hemming and hawing, indecisions, frantic phone calls, long discussions and some medical intervention, Tam is finally in the family way. I am so very happy for you and your hubby! Congrats on making it five years in wedded bliss and my hope is that the little one will only make things better.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but my Harmonica is also expecting. This time she is going to have a little girl. No hints on names or anything like that, but I have seen a pic and I have to say that she looks just like Speck did at that age. :-) Monnie, I hope that the pregnancy is going well and you are geared up for the next twenty years of girlie stuff.

Harmonica, you will like this. Parental Unit #1 discovered Dark Angel via reruns and went out and bought both seasons. I am now watching season 2 and I understand why it was cancelled. Season 1 was great; season 2 - meh. Speaking of TV, I think my new show is going to be cancelled. Dollhouse is going on hiatus for the November sweeps and word on the street is that it isn't long for this world. I find this surprising because it is such a good show. But then again I enjoy everything Joss Whedon, which reminds me I have my latest BtVS comic...sorry, graphic novel...to read.

Bean's Birthday

2009-10-12T08:40:00.000-07:00

A good time was had by all! PU#1 got Bean a princess outfit and the boys created sheilds & breastplates out of cardboard. They then rallied around their prncess to defend the castle.

The Cake

She wouldn't even let me out of the car! She had to see her cake.

Big brother Budzo

Grandparents on PU#2 side

A regal princess

The Royal Family

Budzo & Scooter couldn't wait to dig in!

Mighty swordmen (with a balloon)
According to Jake, you cannot do anything right without a balloon.

**A quick shout out to my cousin! JJ is either my 2nd or 3rd cousin or something like that (I can't ever figure that crap out) and he is turning 1. I know that Mel is probably planning a whole birthday surprise for the little one. Mel - give JJ a kiss for me and I hope you all have a fantastic time!

Why I Don't Understand People

2009-10-06T05:44:00.000-07:00

I was on my way into work this morning, listening to NPR, and our local news announcer told a disturbing story. It appears that over the weekend, some of Alabama’s finest arrested a middle aged woman and placed said woman’s teenage daughter in protective custody. Why you ask? Because this idiot of a woman had a box that was too big to fit in her mini-van. Because this idiot of a woman thought it would be bright to place the box on top of her mini-van….with her daughter sitting in the box to hold it down. She told the cops that her daughter wasn’t in danger because not only had she put her daughter in the box to hold it down, she had also used other means to secure the box to the top of the vehicle. WTF!

Another disturbing story: I’m sure you have heard that the Taliban has claimed responsibility for the suicide bombing of the United Nation food agency’s compound in Islamabad but did you hear about the guy who tried to assassinate Saudi Prince Mohammed bin Nayef? The dude supposedly denounced his al-Qaida connections and was working with the prince on his rehabilitation. In an “effort” to have the prince recruit some of his colleagues, Abdullah al-Assiri set up a meeting with the prince. What the prince didn’t know was that al-Assiri had stuffed a bomb up his own ass. The plan was for Prince Nayef to use a cell phone that would detonate the bomb al-Assiri was hiding. Maybe I just have never believed in something so completely that I was willing to die for it, but I just don’t get this. Why on God’s green earth would someone do this?! In the end all al-Assiri accomplished was: a) not killing the prince; b) alerting the rest of the world to al-Qaidas newest method of suicide bombing; c) killing himself. Yeah, don’t think I will ever understand.

Anybody out there who reads this, keep Tam in your thoughts. She is having to deal with a lot right now and could use support, even if she doesn’t know you. Once I get all the specifics, I’ll update.

Mindless Dribble

2009-09-30T06:44:00.000-07:00

Thanks to FB, I’ve have hooked back up with my big sister from college. It has been so good talking to her after almost 10 years of no communication.

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I saw this morning that Kate, of Jon & Kate + 8, and TLC will be renaming the show. Whatever. What shocked me were the amount of comments people left concerning Jon & Kate’s lives & integrity. Come on folks, there are more important subjects out there than whether or not Jon is a bastard or Kate is a shrew. People listen up! You should be thinking about the recession! Healthcare! War! What the hell was Lady Gaga thinking when she did this?

Yes, that is the lovable Kermit the Frog...dead.

*****************************************

Two nights ago I decided to use a hypnosis track that I had downloaded from the Internet. It was supposed to help me fall asleep faster. Let me tell you, it worked! It worked so well that I had it on repeat…all night…constantly telling me I was very relaxed…getting sleepy…
It was just like Office Space.

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This morning I was listening to NPR (as I am prone to do every morning) and the local lady came on with what else, but the local news. (On a side note I cannot stand the way this woman says “bank”. Her accent is so bad that I bet national news teams try to get a hold of her first whenever they have to come down here and report on a natural disaster. My guess the only things that stops the national crews is that she has all of teeth, hence the reason Billy Joe Jim Bob is always the South’s spokesperson) Anyway, she was reading off the latest of Alabama great representatives and what they were arguing about now. I almost dropped my Krystals Scrambler! Did you know that this great state continues to pay tenured teachers who are serving prison time?!?! How fucked up is that? Maybe they if they stopped paying the criminals, then the great governor of Alabama wouldn’t have to cut 3% out of each schools budget this year.

****************************************

And last but not least….I AM GOING TO SEE U2 NEXT WEEK!!! Chocolate’, we are going to have so much fun!

What I Have Learned About Facebook

2009-09-22T14:48:00.000-07:00

I get to catch up with people I haven't seen in years but...

I suck at Mafia Wars

I suck (no pun intended) at Vampire Wars

I suck at the fish tank game

I suck at Farm Town or Ville

I'm good at the other farm game

Just A Few Of My Favorite Movie/TV Quotes

2009-09-22T12:14:00.000-07:00

1. “I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen.” Lloyd Dobler, Say Anything

2. “You won't accept a guy's tongue in your mouth, and you're going to eat that?” John Bender, The Breakfast Club

3. “I am now, and will forever be, a Duckman” Phil Dale a.k.a. Duckie, Pretty In Pink

4. “If the apocalypse comes, beep me.” Buffy Summers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

5. I was watching a television program before, with a kind of roving moderator who spoke to a seated panel of young women who were having some sort of problem with their boyfriends - apparently, because the boyfriends had all slept with the girlfriends' mothers. And they brought the boyfriends out, and they fought, right there on television. Toby, tell me: these people don't vote, do they?” President Josiah Bartlett, The West Wing

6. We’re flying in a Lockheed Eagle Series L-1011; came off the line twenty months ago. Carries a Sim-5 transponder tracking system and you’re telling me I can still flummox this thing with something I bought at Radio Shack?” Toby Ziegler, The West Wing

Top 10 Pet Peeves

2009-09-21T06:12:00.000-07:00

1. Chewing with your mouth open in public. If I want to see a cow masticating, I will go to a farm.

2. Belching loudly in public. TCftBL does this and, to my immense displeasure, has passed the traits on to her children. Unfortunately the worst one of the bunch is Bean; like mother like daughter.

3. Cruising in the left hand lane. The right hand lane is there for a reason people!

4. Trying to have a conversation with anyone in the vicinity of Parental Unit #2 and a TV. The man cannot hear for shit but one could pick up on whatever political show he is watching 20 miles away.

5. Constantly being told by Parental Unit #1 that I need to attend various functions that my brother’s children are involved in. If I have said it once, I have said it a million times; not my child.

6. Planning birthday event for said children. By choice, my brother is rarely involved in the decision making and then bitches about not being kept in the loop.

7. Not being able to stick to my guns. Do you know how many children related events I have attended?

8. Being talked down to. Parental Unit #2 has a phenomenal ability to do such; try checking it out for yourself.

9. People using the couch for a bed. It is perfectly acceptable for napping but not nightly slumber…unless you are pregnant. In that case, you have earned to right to sleep wherever the hell you want to.

10. Huge ass SUVs. They are not environmentally friendly and hard as hell to see around when driving a Miata. Power to the little cars!

Active Two Weeks

2009-09-17T06:13:00.000-07:00

So the past two weeks have been very active for me. Chocolate' came down for the Labor Day weekend. We had a dinner with Harmonica and had a blast the entire weekend. Both of my parents celebrated their birthdays and Bean spent a weekend with me. We had a soccer game (that I actually went to; can't get parental units to understand that a) not my kid, don't have to be there and b) they are boring as all get out!). Bean and I played dress up and dance class. She had a ball putting on my old dance costumes.

Just a few pics of the past two weeks.
At the playground

I've been hanging around this town on the corner

A beautiful ballerina

Showing me the proper way to bow

Not much is going on currently; I'm gearing up for October. U2 here I come!

PS - Harmonica: Next time we go to Cantina Laradeo, I'll be sure to bring the oxygen masks. :-)

Here Kitty, Kitty

2009-09-03T06:34:00.001-07:00

I lay in bed last night, continuing my ongoing battle with Mr. Sandman for sleep (I swear I get an hour closer every night) when I realized that my bed kept jerking. Now this wasn’t the normal cat-giving-itself-a-bath-and-shaking-the-entire-bed kind of movement, it was more along the lines of someone with Tourettes but without the screaming. I looked at my side and found both of my kitties laying next to me, forming a “T” with Yen’s head on Madalynn’s stomach.

The jerking? Yen was trying to get comfortable while making biscuits on Madalynn’s belly while Madalynn was freshening up Yen’s mane. Too cute, I tell you!

Then one of them got tired of the other and the cat fight broke out. (get it? Cat fight? I slay me!) It was like Mad Max at the Thunderdome for about ten seconds until Madalynn got in one good slap and took off for parts unknown.

Morning Rush Hour

2009-09-02T09:12:00.000-07:00

This morning I awoke to sweat trickling down my scalp and an oppressive heat encompassing my body. Holy Hell I Was Hot! I kicked my covers off and noticed that it was very quiet in my room. For those of you that know me this is not just an anomaly but an unprecedented event. I do not sleep anywhere without a fan or some sort of white noise going. I can’t sleep without it. I glanced over at the alarm clock and saw nothing. The power was out! For all I knew it could have been 2am or 9am; I was praying for 2am even though that would have meant I had only been asleep about 2 hours. Yes, yes, yes, the Sandman is eluding me again, even with Ambien. So I lay in bed and tried to go back to sleep but this is where the fan/white noise comes into play; sleep just wasn’t going to happen. This went on for about an hour and TA-DA the lights came back on! To my delight it was just after 6 and I was not late for work. Granted, this was not the best start to my day but at least I wasn’t late.

So I am on my way into work, stopped at a traffic (not a stop*) light in front of the Target shopping center, when I notice one of the light poles swaying in the wind. Three things to keep in mind here; 1 – only one light pole was swaying, 2 – its 7:10 in the morning so the parking lot in front of Baby-R-Us is empty and 3- there is no wind.

So my cat-like reflexes kicked in and my sharp eyes start scanning the parking lot to find out what is going on. By the by, it wasn’t so much my cat-like reflex as my cat-like curiosity. To my astonishment and sick sense of humor, I see a cobalt blue truck in front of the light pole. Now this truck had an extra tire not only on the cabs roof but also on the hood. It was also loaded down with a variety and plethora of pipes, plumbing equipment and trash. The front end was also freshly crumpled. Did I put on my blinker so I could get into the turning lane and go see if anyone needed helped? I did not; mainly because I don’t use my turn signals but also because I couldn’t stop laughing. Some idiot had crashed into a poor defenseless light pole in the middle of an empty parking lot. What joy! We are talking possible Darwin Award winner. My day was looking better.

*Parental Unit #1 is always getting on to me because I call it a stop light and not a traffic light. Her reasoning is that you don’t just stop at the light, but use it to gauge the flow of traffic. Whatever

Side note: The guy was fine. He got out of his truck and started picking up pieces of his front fender.

Weekend

2009-08-30T11:10:00.000-07:00

Nuff said

I Deserve A Purple Peanut

2009-08-27T15:33:00.000-07:00

I have, correction, had one of those cat-tower-scratching-post-dangling-ball-takes-up-space-carpeted thingys. When I bought it I knew that Yen was not going to play with it. When I got it home, the look on her face said it all.

"You smokin' crack? I'm thirteen lady, not three. No way in hell am I going to move from my spot on the back of couch to bat at some rope ball thingy. By the way, thanks for the crocheted couch cover; things are much more comfy over here. How about you topping off the food bowl, umkay?"

On the other hand, I swore Madalynn would go ape-shit over this damn thing. I am talking about a cat that, on a daily basis, was impersonating Wylie E. Coyote slamming into the side of a cliff. Well, I was wrong. Oh, she sniffed it but that was about it. After some time I tried to give it away through one of those recycling websites. Several people nibbled but no one grabbed a hold of the worm.

Flash back to three weeks ago. Scooter was here for the weekend and had been playing with Madalynn. He came across the carpeted dust catcher.

"Do Madalynn and Yen play with this?"

"Nope."

"Man, I know that Shadow would love it." (Shadow is a cat at his mom's house)

"Really."

"I bet he would just tear it up. Can I have it?"

"I don't care but you have to ask your mom."

Flash forward to today. After exchanging a couple of emails, the CftBL, came by to get the thingy. And guess what? I was cordial to the bitch! I even laughed with her. I'm not even seething with anger as I write this post. I'm not saying that the next time I see her that I'm going to run up and give her a big ole kiss or anything. I'm not even going to become an email buddy with her. But I thought I deserved to give myself an atta-girl! I was nice!

Yeah me!!

Doc and Me

2009-08-23T16:28:00.000-07:00

So I just did something I said I wasn't going to do. I knew it would be bad. I knew I wasn't going to like it. I did it anyway because I thought I could handle it.

I watched Marley & Me.

I just cried through the last half hour of the movie. I don't mean silent tears running down my cheeks. I don't mean a sniffle here and a sniffle there. I mean the full on ugly crying. The crying that makes you do that funny little sound when ever you tried to take in a deep breath. The crying that leaves you splotchy. The crying that leaves your eyes swelled up like a mole leaving it's burrow. The crying that leaves your nose completely stopped up. The crying that leave you with a headache. That kind of crying.

Was the movie good? I think so.
Would I watch it again? Not in a million years.
Am I glad I watched it? Yep - along with the tears, it brought back memories of my Doc.

Scooters Birthday

2009-08-22T17:43:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was Scooter's birthday party. The family decided to have it at my house and to have a little pool party. Scooter came and stayed with me the Friday before and we had lots of fun. We played games, went to the park, went out for breakfast and decorated his birthday cake. He has entered a weird stage (for him) in his childhood - he talks non-stop. He has turned into his sister. By 10am Sunday morning I was ready for him to go. We had planned to have his party at 3pm at the pool. I was calling my parental unit by 10:30 wondering when they were going to show up. To save my sanity, Scooter and I were at the pool as soon as I got off the phone with my parents. Needless to say that even with my 50+ spf sunblock, I got fried. Currently, I am molting. I feel like a snake loosing its skin. While I know that it is my own fault, I feel like I should have been able to at least lean on the sunblock for a little bit of protection. And yes, it was reapplied a couple of times throughout the day. I'm thinking that I am just going to have to get a night job and become a hermit.

Anyway, just a couple of pics of my Scooter and the cake that he decorated!
This is my boy on Friday night. Isn't he just the cutest! I love, love, love his freckles!

My boy's cake that he decorated himself!

Jake was trying to help his big brother out when it came to candle blowing.

Monkey Revisited

2009-08-10T10:26:00.000-07:00

I have taken another adventure in the stop-smoking campaign. I have been taking the great new drug Chantrix. I spoke with my doctor about when we had this conversation. It was the first stop-smoking drug I asked her about that she actually said “It works”. She also talked about the side effects and relayed that if I was going to take this medication, she would prefer that I tell people. Dr. C actually had someone try to commit suicide while taking Chantrix. Seeing that I live alone, Dr. C wants to make sure that I have some people looking out for me. I told you she is the greatest doctor!

So I am on week 3 of this stuff and I thought it was a big joke. You are supposed to take this stuff for the first week while still smoking. On the eighth day, you stop smoking; didn’t work so well for me. I smoked the entire 2nd week but I put on my big girl panties and moved my quit day to the 15th day – today. So far, so good. I haven’t had any cravings or anything like that and I have had a slightly stressful morning. My biggest problem has been at home. I was talking with a woman I work with and she suggested a hand held game that would occupy both my mind & my hands. I am now the proud owner of a DS Lite and I love it! When I played it over the weekend, I didn’t even think about smoking. I think I may have finally found a way to get the monkey off my back!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

2009-07-24T07:18:00.001-07:00

I have been feeling pretty run down lately. I usually just chalk it up to my anemia and my general laziness. After this past weekend with Budzo, I developed a bit of a cold (thanks kid). On top of the cold and feeling run down, I also haven’t been sleeping. I’m talking weeks here people. Seriously, not one good night sleep since the first of June. So I went and talked to my beloved doctor. Can I just say I love, love, love my doctor? While I would prefer not to wait 45 minutes to spend 5 with her, I suffer through the wait because she actually cares. I told Dr. what was going on. I really went because of the head cold but she was more focused on the sleeplessness and the 3 freakin’ hot flashes I had in her office. It would appear that at 35 you can be pre-menopausal. B @ 35=pre-menopausal. While she does not yet have the chemical study of my body to back it up, she is pretty damn sure. I think the fact that my mother started going through it at 37 and the fact that my maternal great-grandmother also started in her late 30’s is a great sign that I too am going to be an early bloomer.
I just can’t wrap my head around it. At an age when other women my age are starting or increasing their family, I’m on the downhill run. I know that some will say that I am over-reacting to an iffy diagnosis. I know that my doc is right. With all the “female problems” I have had since I was 11, I know my body. I know that the night sweats, hot flashes, inability to sleep and overactive mood swings are indicative of the change of life. I know that I have experienced all of these on a regular basis and I now know that my own suspicions are going to be proven correct.
Am I being a little melodramatic? Probably.
Am I jumping the gun on self diagnosis? I don’t’ think so (especially since my doc had that look in her eye that I was right).

I guess I’ll find out next month when I go in for blood tests. In the mean time, I’m keeping myself happy knowing that I won’t have to wait as long as the rest of you to say goodbye to “the curse”.

Budzo and Casper

2009-07-20T15:53:00.000-07:00

Budzo spent the weekend with me and we had a great time. Mostly we played video games but we also went to the pool. I lathered myself, and him, down with sunblock and only stayed about an hour. It was such a beautiful weekend! Really un-Alabama like for July. We also went to see Mel. We hung out most of the day playing with Jackson & Mel. Do to Mel's encouragement, I played hide and seek. I haven't done that in ages! Budzo did say something funny on the ride down. The windows were down as we were driving along Hwy 69.

Budzo: What's that smell?

Me: I don't smell anything.

Budzo: You don't smell that?

Me: Oh! I think what you smell is fresh cut grass.

Budzo: Ugh! Roll up the windows, it smells awful.

Guess maybe he should not be playing video games so much, huh?

Something that happened a couple of weeks ago. I was sitting in the living room playing around with my camera and this is what I got:

Apparently, I have a Casper living with me. Or maybe I have been watching too many ghost movies and too many episodes of An American Haunting.

The Friends And Family Network

2009-07-14T06:29:00.000-07:00

Read this: Friendship

My posted comment:

I am currently experiencing all of this. I am the only singleton in my group of friends. Out of the married couples, all but one has children ranging from 11 years to still in the womb. I have no problem what-so-ever in realizing that these children are my friend’s priority. In fact, I would be disgusted if any of my friends put anything in front of the raising and well being of their children. I am extremely excited for all of my friends who are experiencing the joys and trials of child rearing. That being said, I do not need to hear about every little itty bitty cutesy things that their children do. Most of my friends are generally accepting in this fact. Whenever I ask about their children, I expect to get a story or two about what amazing feat or hurdle the child has completed - and I want to hear these stories. However, I have one friend who was upset because I hadn't come over to see her child in a while.

First - I am not friends with your child, I am friends with you and your husband.

Second - Every time I have visited, I have been condescended to in my ability to even hold a child. Hello! I had 4 nieces and nephews and was helping to raise them before the baby bug even hit my friend.

Third - Whenever I have a conversation with this friend, I am often regaled with stories about what her daughter can now do. As I said before, I want to hear this stuff but not when I am in the middle of needing some advice or comfort.

I realize that most of the moms out there will think one of two things. Either I am being overly sensitive or my friend is being completely insensitive. I am here to beg all women out there to be seriously conscious of your friends. Do not take for granted that your single friends are as enraptured by your children as you are. And single people, show interest and excitement for your friends that are parents. The new dynamics of having children change not only the dynamics of your family but also the dynamics of your friendships.

Am I asking too much? Am I being selfish? Am I over analyzing my feelings? Am I seeing things that aren't there? I came across this website while searching for tips on how to act/react better whenever I am surrounded by my friends. I'm not stupid. I know that when we all get together the conversation is going to turn to children. How can it not! Out of the 7 close girlfriends, I have only 2 are not mothers. There are 7 1/2 children between them and if you add in my brother's children that is a grand total of 11 1/2! Is it too much to ask that when I am regaled with stories of little Johnny's 1 million different smiles, that my non-child stories not get pushed to the wayside? Is it too much to ask that my stories about my brother's kids get the same respect as the stories about your children? I may not have given birth to them, but I have helped raise them. Does this make me less of a "mother"? Does the fact that you suffered for nine months of pregnancy (trust me - the rest of us suffered too) make you a better child caregiver than me?

This topic has been bothering me for a while and it really came to a head over the weekend. Several of my friends came over for game night. Sadly not everyone was able to make it. Harmonica, you were sorely missed. Chocolate & Mel, you two need to live closer! After the initial hellos and hugs/kisses were exchanged, I felt a weird tension fall over me. It felt like “Now what?” I felt like I had lost a connection with my friends. Then the conversation turned to children. I watched from the kitchen as they all gathered and began conversing and I realized that I wasn’t the same person. They weren’t the same people.

Have I done this?
Have I become so sensitive to the baby talk that I am pulling away from them?
Do I resent them for making the choices they have made?
Am I jealous that they have something that I want but cannot have?
I’m sure that the answer to those questions, to some degree, is “yes”.

Am I alone in this blame game?
I don’t think so.

So now what?

A Little Tid Bit I Forgot To Share

2009-07-06T17:42:00.000-07:00

So other than being a huge tween turd on the 4th, Budzo asked something very funny on the 3rd. Let me set the scene.

Seating at the theatre:

Corey (SILs nephew), Jake, Junior, SIL, Bean, Parental Unit #1, Budzo, Me, Scooter and Parental Unit #2 (that took way too long to type)

Movie: Transformers

Mini-climax of the movie (with it being an action movie, there were a lot of these):

One of the twin bots is looking down at the human comic relief who is complaining about being nearly killed and scared shitless. He wants to abandon Shia and head home.

Human Comic Relief: Man, this isn't my fight! I just want to go home! (something like that)
Green Twin Bot: That's because you are a p*%#y.
(all adults on our row laugh)
Budzo: (leaning over to me and sorta whispering) Is p*%#y a bad word?
Me: (Glancing over at Parental Unit #1 who is laughing so hard at his question she about to pee) Yeah, buddy, I guess it is.

No help from my mother on what to say to the tween. Nothing but laughter. Go figure

Happy Anniversary Mom, Dad & America

2009-07-05T17:54:00.001-07:00

The 4th was an absolute blast!

Mom and Dad were celebrating their 40th anniversary

The kids had a great time

Bean came to work with me on Thursday and stayed until Saturday. Bean is a handful! I love her dearly, but I got to tell you, I'm not used to a chatterbox 24 hours a day. The girl does not shut-up! I swear if I was awake, I would have heard her talking in her sleep. Thursday night I was on the couch because of these three:

Friday, the Parental Units took all 10 of us to see Transformers

Saturday the festivities began. Lots and lots of food, kiddie fireworks and big aerial fireworks. I spoke with Parental Unit #1. She called today to tell me about the forgotten watermelon (which she bought for yours truly) and told me what a wonderful time she had. Junior did a good bit of the cooking and my SIL helped out in the kitchen. What did I do? I brought the fireworks!

Adios

2009-06-25T19:51:00.001-07:00

I'm saying goodbye to part of my childhood tonight. The King of Pop is gone. If you didn't know this, just turn on the t.v. The coverage is almost as bad and intrusive as that of Princess Diana's death.

Regardless of his private life (and you have to admit, he was a freak), Michael Jackson was a wonder to behold. The man could sing and dance like nobody's business. He was influential in the arts and will remain as a legend in music history. Here is my favorite:

The man was amazing! AMAZING! I wanted to dance like him!!

Little tid-bit you may not know (this would be you Harmonica because I don't think anybody else reads this), Michael Jackson was my boyfriend when I was in the second grade. For black history month, our class put on a little show; mostly biographies of famous black people. I was Coretta Scott King and my boyfriend was Michael. He could do the moonwalk and jump up on his toes a-la Billie Jean; which is what he danced to by the by.

RIP Michael Jackson

Fish & Floating Houses

2009-06-19T06:57:00.000-07:00

So Scooter and I had a “date” last Friday. I picked him up from summer care and we went to the movies and dinner. It was part of his Easter prize. Scooter chose UP in 3-D. Gotta say, I’m not a young as I used to be. I spent ¾ of the movie with my head in my hands trying not to watch! Over the past few years I have noticed that I can no longer enjoy the whole 3-D experience or the IMAX thing either. IMAX now makes me dizzy and squeamish and 3-D gives me a full blown migraine.

After the movie, we headed out to dinner.

Me: Where do you want to eat?
Scooter: But I didn’t win that prize! I got the movie with an adult of my choice, not the dinner with an adult of my choice.

Me: I know that but we gotta eat right? Aren’t you hungry? Where do you want to go?

Scooter: Someplace I haven’t been before.

If you knew my brother’s kids the way I do, you would know that finding someplace they have never been is both a breeze and a trial. True to Junior’s appetite, his children are strictly meat and potatoes (with the exception of Bean) and are very, very, very resistant to try new things.

Me: How about Red Lobster?

Scooter: I haven’t been there before.

Me: I know; its seafood.

Scooter: Like Captain D’s?!? I’ve been to Captain D’s and I didn’t really like it.

I rolled my eyes thinking that I really need to get these kids to branch out. We went to Red Lobster and he loved it. My Scooter! I wish he and I could have more “dates”!

Almost forgot this part!

In preparing for our “date”, I had to deal with The Creature from the Black Lagoon because Budzo, Scooter & Bean were with her the week that Scooter wanted to go to the movies. After swallowing my resentment for TCftBL, I emailed her about Scooter’s request and awaited a response. She said Scooter had already told her and had already been bugging her about when it was going to be Friday. So this is from an email I got from her on Friday.

A cute thing he said when we were looking through his clothes…now Mom I have to look really nice…handsome he said.

How can I not just completely adore this little man!

Look What I Found

2009-06-15T10:32:00.000-07:00

This website Twisting the Hellmouth ties Joss Whedon shows in with other television shows. I just read about Clean House coming to the slayers and helping them out of their mayhem and foolishness. Hilarious!

Maybe I Should Double My Zoloft Intake?

2009-06-02T11:12:00.000-07:00

Recently I received a phone call from my wonderful cousin Mel. Once we got past the initial pleasantries, Mel got straight to the point. This is not a word-for-word conversation; mostly just the gist of it.

Mel: What’s been going on?

Me: Not much, just spending some time with myself.

Mel: Uh-huh……

Me: What?

Mel: Well, you have been spending some time with yourself for the past four months!

Me: What? I have not!

Mel: Have so! I’m worried. Are you depressed?

Me: What?!? No. (laughs) You know you are the second person in the past two weeks to ask me that!

Mel: Well? What does that tell you?

So now I have two people thinking I’m wasting away in my apartment wondering the best way to end my dreaded existence. Mel’s concern did not bother me in the least (Mel, I’m fine and I love you). She, along with Chocolate, Harmonica & Tam, all know that I like my space and do not require daily interaction with people in my little world. They know that if I need them, I’ll call and that they should do the same. This is not to say that I will avoid every phone call they make to me but it does mean that if I do not feel like talking, I’ll be short and sweet. I go through spurts of needing interaction and apparently over the past four months, I haven’t needed much interaction. The other person that I mentioned did bother me. In a flash I went from laughing to shock to “What a bitch”. This other person, let’s call her Becky, felt that because I had forgotten her birthday and had not come to flaunt over her child, that I must be depressed. Now I can understand that she may be hurt because I forgot her birthday. However, in my defense, I forgot a lot of people’s birthday this year: Harmonica, Chocolate and Jake (my freakin’ nephew!) Seriously?!?! Becky is an adult and she is upset that I forgot her birthday? I forgot her birthday and don’t spend time with her child, so therefore I am despondent and considering throwing myself off the 10 story rocket at the museum? While I’m having this conversation with Becky via IM, I call Tam.

Me: Can you believe this?!?

Tam: So you forgot her birthday? You forgot mine last year.

Me: I know; I forgot Jake’s this year and he is one of my babies! You know when I remembered Speck’s? It hit me while I was spending Mother’s Day with Mom. I thought about all my friends who are now moms, including Becky, and realized that Speck was now two!

Tam: You aren’t upset because of the birthday thing; you are upset because of the kid thing.

Me: No I’m not, I’m so over that.

Tam: No you’re not. You have every right to be hurt or upset. What she did was wrong and she didn’t handle it correctly.

Me: You think? I know she handled it wrong.

Tam: It’s not what I think, it is what it is. You are still pissed about it and you are pulling away to avoid a confrontation. She can sense this but doesn’t realize why you are doing it. In her mind’s eye, she didn’t do anything wrong. And while what she did wasn’t cataclysmic, she should have realized it hurt your feelings. You have to talk to her.

Me: I know, I know but I don’t want to. I don’t want to rehash everything and make a big deal out of it.

Tam: You already are.

Me: Oh, shut up – you are supposed to be on my side.

Tam: OK – she is the worst kind of bitch anyone can be and she doesn’t deserved to live. Let’s go kick her ass.

Unfortunately, Tam didn’t say that last thing but I wanted her too. She is right, I’m avoiding confrontation and it’s not like this is a little bitty slight. While I just want to let it all go and get over it, it comes to my mind at least once a day! I am obsessing about it. I had lunch with Becky the other day and all I could think about was the whole situation. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t such a wuss.

It's All Good!

2009-05-26T05:18:00.001-07:00

I get to keep my lip!

Don't Give Me Any Lip

2009-05-20T07:55:00.000-07:00

So this (so far) is going to be my scar. Very small in respect to the rest I have on my body, but not so small for where it is. Find out on Friday whether or not I'm going to loose more of my lip.
No instructions other than to stay out of the sun. Anybody know where I can get a parasol?

Interesting fact about me: Every scar on my body, about 15, is on the right side of my body.

X-Men, Here I Come!

2009-05-13T07:08:00.000-07:00

I had an appointment yesterday with an oral surgeon. For the five or six years, I have had a spot on my lower lip. I had it checked out and the doc said that it was probably a basal cell carcinoma and nothing to really worry about. He said that it will continue to periodically pop-up in the same place, scab over and go away. So for the past 5+ years, I have had a sore pop-up in the same place, scab over and go away. Almost a month ago, I had another sore pop-up in the same place. At this same time, I also had a fever blister that was taking its sweet time in healing ( pernicious anemia is a bitch!). This baby of a fever blister hung around for at least three weeks. My little basal cell was taking forever to scab over (it is still hanging around) and I had gotten sunburned. So to top off the fever blister and the basal cell, I had a few blisters on my face from being burned (those too eventually scabbed over) and I felt like the Leper of Madison County.
Fortunately (or unfortunately) my parental units saw all of these marks and hounded me into going back to see my oral surgeon; hence yesterday’s appointment. It appears that the basal cell may have mutated. Now I am not a new candidate for the next X-Men team, instead I am a new candidate for what is called squamous cell carcinoma. This is the bad stuff. I have read about both cancer types on Wiki and Dr. Google and quite frankly I am scared. The doc said that if the biopsy comes back benign (he thinks it will) then I’ll just have to keep an eye on the little, itty, bitty sore. If it comes back malignant, I get to lose part of my lip. Yeah me!
On the smoking front, I am now combining the acupuncture with the patch, crocheting and an herbal supplement. I am on the road to being smoke free!

I Love My Babies

2009-05-11T11:35:00.000-07:00

Friday I passed out on the couch when I got home. When I woke up I saw that I have missed a couple of calls, two of which were from my brother. I checked my messages and found that Budzo, my oldest nephew, had called so I gave him a ringy-ding.

Budzo: Are you coming up here Sunday?

Me: I’m coming to see Grammy; it’s Mother’s Day.

Budzo: I know; I just wanted to make sure I was going to see you.

Me: Why?

Budzo: I made something for you for Mother’s Day. I made something for each person in my life who is a mom to me.

Me: Awe, Budzo! Thank you so much! I can’t wait to see it.

Budzo: Okay, I’ll see you Sunday. I love you.

Me: Love you too buddy.

Line Disconnects. I promptly burst in to tears. My Mother’s Day started Friday evening.

This Little Piggy

2009-04-29T18:19:00.000-07:00

So I was watching the presidential address tonight and low & behold, one of those rolling information tickets came across the top of the screen. It appears that 2 cases of the swine flu may have been detected in my city. The Department of Health has shut down the county & city schools. Now what I want to know is how do we stop from getting this stuff? What if one of my babies already has it? Will keeping them out of school for 4 days really stop it from spreading?

Personally, I think that we as a society have brought this on ourselves. To often we take too many antibiotics, use too many preservatives, use too much sanitizer etc. I'm not saying we need to go back to bathing one a month or anything like that but there has got to be an equalizer. Maybe I don't know what I am talking about or maybe I am the right track. I just hope that no one else succumbs to this flu.

Needles And Addiction

2009-04-22T13:32:00.000-07:00

So last week I decided to do something that many of you will be proud of; I went to see an acupuncturist. He put 3 needles in my left ear, 3 on my left clavicle, 2 in my right ear and 2 in my right clavicle. Needles have never bothered me so it was no biggie. Why, you ask, would I go see an acupuncturist? To stop smoking.
I have tried everything; patches, gum, the things you suck on, cold-turkey, slowly cutting back etc. The only thing I haven't tried is hypnosis. I suck at this stop smoking thing. The acupuncture was pretty cool. I left the office and felt incredibly calm and stress free. I slept better than I have in years. I was mucus free, woke up feeling alive and being able to breathe. I was coughing a lot but I have heard that this is normal.
Yesterday, I had a pretty shitty day and this was following a pretty crappy Monday. I spent over 2 hours on the phone with some company who processes Dell's online payments. It appears that this company tried to process my $1,500 payment THREE times. Now I'm not one of those people who has and extra $3K+ lying around in my bank account, so I incurred 2 NSF fees. Dell is not responsible, my bank is not responsible but the company who processes Dell's payments is responsible. After arguing with them for 2+ hours over, I was given the proverbial finger and told that I would not be receiving a refund for the NSF charges. I WAS EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED!!!! I GAVE IN!!!! I BOUGHT A PACK OF CIGARETTES!!! I SUCK, SUCK, SUCK!!!!
I also scheduled a follow up appointment with my acupuncturist (at no additional charge EVER) and had another round.
Today I had lunch with Dad who knows about the acupuncture and my slip yesterday. Some of you know my dad. Some of you know how relentless my dad can be; for those of you that don't, imagine a starving dog and a bone. When he wants to talk about something, he is going to talk about it whether you want to or not. After lunch all I was to do was buy a pack of cigarettes and smoke just as an act of defiance. I'm 35 and I want to push my death along just because my dad was disappointed (yet supportive in his own way) because I slipped. What kind of fucked up sense does that make? And how about this - I lasted until after work. I am again in possession of a pack of cigarettes and I cannot bring myself to throw them away.
I need a recovery center.

Kept Forgetting I Took This Picture

2009-04-16T19:16:00.000-07:00

This company is redoing the pool area. My question:

Who else would vote this company #1? The competition's customers?

I am perplexed

Pictures

2009-04-14T05:05:00.001-07:00

Had some this size hit my car

This is what happened to some people. Thankfully, this is not my car.

This is a little bit bigger than what was hitting my car. I still don't know how I have a windshield.

Oh Hail No!

2009-04-13T11:10:00.000-07:00

So on Good Friday a hail storm came through HSV. I was headed home driving on the most congested room in HSV. The hail started falling and I thought:

“Oh, great; at least it is pea size. Nothing to worry about, just get home.”

Less than 1 minute later…..

“HOLY SHIT ON A SHINGLE!”

The radio weather guy was saying there were reports of baseball size hail but he wasn’t sure it was right.

“THE HELL IT’S NOT! THEY ARE HITTING MY CAR!!”

I have a ragtop. The mammoth hail would hit that ragtop and it was like a shotgun going off. Then there was this stupid woman who wouldn’t let me over so I could pull into one of the dealerships on Car Row. Now not only was I scared but I was pissed as all get out. Stupid Bitch!
I got to the Nissan dealership and couldn’t find a place to pull my car under. What kind of dealership doesn’t have some sort of awning? I sat there and listen to the shotgun going off, praying that the ragtop would hold. I watched as huge pieces of ice slammed into my hood; jumping every time one hit. Suddenly, the heavens parted and sunshine came down once more. I pulled back out on to University just in time…..

FOR THE NEXT FREAKING WAVE OF HAIL!

My poor, poor car.

Passings

2009-04-02T05:29:00.000-07:00

Two tragic things have happened in Hollywood. One is the passing of a 15 year tradition in my family and the other is the loss of a wonderful actor.

ER will be airing it's final episode tonight and then County General will only be available to fans via syndication. This is definitely the end of an era. I started watching ER from the very first episode. I enjoyed watching the interaction with the characters, the story lines and of course George Clooney; but I must say Noah Wyle was always my favorite. Love's Labor Lost was one the of best (if not the best) episodes and the big wigs in TV agreed by giving it an Emmy. My favorite episode? The one where County is shut down due to contamination and Carter has to take charge by moving all the patients to the cafeteria. I cried when Mark Green died. I cried with Carol & Doug were reunited. I felt for Neela when Michael was killed. I held my breath when Abby almost died from giving birth. I laughed at Jerry (often). My heart broke for Rosemary Clooney's portrayal of an Alzheimer patient. I held my breath when Robert Romano lost his arm by a helicopter rotor in one season and then was killed by a falling helicopter in the next. I sat on the edge of my seat while I waited for John Carter, Peter Benson and the nurses to realize they were trying to save an unidentifiable Dennis Grant. Then there was the loss of Lucy Knight, Carter's and Lockhart's struggle with addiction, Benson's education of the deaf, Hathaway's suicide attempt, Carrie Weaver's coming out and custody battle for her son. So many plot lines and stories that just kept me glued to the TV every Thursday night. So long County General. It has been great and I look forward to watching you again when I pull out my DVD collection.

Another passing; Andy Hallett. Unless you are a Joss Whedon or Angel fan, you probably don't know who Andy Hallet was. Check it out:

Still don't know? How about this?

Andy Hallett had a degenerative heart condition and passed away at age 33 on March 29th. Definitely one of my favorite Joss Whedon characters.

So so long to County General and Lorne. In my world, you will both be missed.

Yen Update

2009-03-24T16:36:00.000-07:00

Osteogenic sarcoma

Talked to the vet today about the biopsy results and apparently this is what she had. This is not a "good" cancer. It is fast moving and can be very invasive. The lab did tell Dr. Jay that all of the tumor was removed.

Interesting fact: The tumor had bones growing inside of it along with other fibers. First I had a cat with a toe nail growing out of it's back and now I have one with bones growing inside of tumors. Go figure.

Another interesting fact: The lab told Dr. Jay that studies have shown that these types of tumors can be caused by rabies vaccinations.

Not so interesting fact: I think I may have found another "bump" on my baby. Plus, other than a couple of sentences on Wiki, I cannot find anything about how this cancer and it's effects on cats.

We have another trip to the vet coming up.

Is Any One Else Sick Of These?

2009-03-21T18:46:00.000-07:00

Those Charmin commericals with the bears? What is up with those? I'm so tired of seeing little pieces of toilet paper on the baby bears butt. Northern's quilting bee didn't even last this long.

If You Aren't Watching, Get Thee To A Television!

2009-03-20T18:59:00.000-07:00

http://www.fox.com/dollhouse/

I haven't been on the edge of my seat like this since Lost season 1. I would say that Dollhouse is definitely a MUST SEE! With this new fangeled internet thingy, you can catch up on the 1st six episodes and be up to speed for next Friday.

In Case You Are Interested

2009-03-17T16:59:00.000-07:00

This is Yen's soon to be scar. Dr. Jay said she has 2 sets of internal stiches and 1 set on the outside.

Recuperation

2009-03-16T09:09:00.000-07:00

Other than a sick kitty, nothing much has been going on. This past Thursday, Yen had surgery to remove her tumor. I was nervous. As I said before, she is older and has some neurological issues. When I picked her up, she was hanging limply in the vet techs arms. This cat does not let ANYONE pick her up much less lie still when in someone’s arms. I thought it was the anesthesia. Then the doc asked to speak with me. Uh-oh.

Dr. Jay said she came through the surgery well but he wanted to talk to me because he knew the surgery was more than what I was expecting it to be. Apparently this nasty little tumor had infiltrated through my baby’s 1st layer of her abdominal wall. He had to remove it to make sure he got the entire tumor. Me-eyes wide, mouth open, hoping I don’t start crying. He also left a drainage hole in her 2 ½-3 inch incision (this is big for a cat, even my fat cat) and he said that she could stay the night with him or I could take her home. Of course no one can love my baby like me, so home we went - $230.00 lighter.

I tried to keep her comfortable in a laundry basket but she wouldn’t stay. Even though she walked like a wino with her head pulling a Linda Blair, she insisted on getting out the basket. Remember that drainage hole? Yep, you guess it. Blood and ooze everywhere. Now, I like to think I am a normally calm person. Other than my nervous laughter at every situation, I think I remain pretty calm. Huge gaping hole in my leg 2 years ago? Laughed, but calm. Call that Parental Unit #1 is in the emergency room? Drove like a maniac, but calm. Parental Unit #2’s motorcycle accident 3 years ago? Frightened laugh, but calm. Hole in my cat with ooze coming out of it? This required a phone call to Parental Unit #1.

Me: She won’t stay in the damn basket and she is breathing very shallow. Plus Maddy keeps hissing at her, like she is some kind of zombie.

PU#1: B, she just had surgery, she is going to breath shallow. She is older; she is going to breath shallow. She isn’t going to bounce back like before. She won’t stay in the basket because she wants to lay with you. Madalynn just thinks she smells funny. Pull a mattress into the living room and sleep in there with Yen tonight. Don’t put her in your bed because she might fall off. If you sleep in the living room, she won’t have far to fall from the mattress to the floor.

Me: I’m just so scared. I’m not ready to let her go. She has always bounced back before.

PU#1: She is old. She has existing conditions. Dr. Jay would not have sent her home if he didn’t think you could handle it. You brought her back from the brink before, you can do it again. She is going to be fine. Do what I have said and call me in the morning.

Why are parental units always right?

I got some pain meds from Dr. Jay and by Saturday, Yen was moving around like she didn’t have stitches. She was purring and making biscuits and by Sunday, she was able to jump on my bed with no problem. Now if I can just get Madalynn to understand that I brought home the right cat.

I'm Late, I'm Late For A Very Important Date

2009-02-26T17:39:00.000-08:00

So as I said HERE, I suck at this kind of stuff. I used to be so very good at remembering dates and what not but some where along the way, I just lost it. Sometimes I feel like this makes me a bad friend but none of my friends say anything about it, so I guess I'm safe.

Anyway tonight I would like to tell you about Chocolate'. As with Harmonica, I forgot her birthday. There is actually an on going joke between Chocolate' and I about what day is actually her birthday. Several years ago, I got it confused and even after she corrected me, I still get it confused. I can say with much confidence that it is either the 17th or the 18th of February. I'm sure that she will set me straight yet again. Like I have said before, I suck.

Chocolate' and I met in college. It was her freshman year and my sophomore and we were pledging the same social club. We went to an antiquated school that didn't (at the time) have sororities, hence the social clubs. Our pledge class was waiting outside of a meeting when Chocolate' walked directly up to me, invaded my personal space and said "Wow! Your eyes are green!".
My thought - yes, freak, they are.

For the next year, we were forced into each other's company though out pledging. I have to say that she was a force I didn't understand. I wasn't used to someone who was so jolly, loyal, fierce and compassionate. I was and still am very shy around people I don't know but she intrigued me. Throughout my junior year, she was hanging around with a roommate of mine. We socialized as acquaintances do and our friendship began to grow strong. It seemed that every time I came back to school from a weekend at home, she would be there camped out on the couch waiting for me. Now she wasn't waiting just to see how my weekend was or anything like that. She was waiting because my roommate would have had a blow up with her boyfriend and then abandoned Chocolate' to go make up. I was her ride back to the dorm. It got to the point that I would see Chocolate' on the couch and I knew that June and Uncle PJ had fought and were now reconciling. So I guess you could say that it is all June's fault that Chocolate' and I are such good friends. It's a shame really - June has missed out on so much.

Soon, we were going to each other's homes as college roommates do. She would come to my house and we would scheme on how to get out of work/class, so that we could spend another day at the mountain chalet. We even fought a forest fire! Well it was actually a tree, but it was a good excuse so that we could stay home and watch Lois and Clark. I ended up better off out of the two of us. When we would go to Atlanta, I got Andrew. Andrew was the light of anyone's life. He was special and special doesn't quit cover it. I got to play around with Andrew while Chocolate' would admonish us for acting like 5 year olds in Kroger. This was not a stretch for Andrew as he was 5, but I should have known better. At least that is what her tone said. There are no words that can describe what kind of boy Andrew was but I guess you could say he had an old soul. You could look in his eyes and just know that he knew something more that what he was letting on to and that he was smarter than you. Not academically but worldly. He knew more that you did and more than you would ever experience in your lifetime.

Sadly, Andrew is no longer with us. My junior year, Keith called my apartment and told me to put Chocolate' on a plane and not say anything to her. Andrew was dead and I could not let her know in any way. As she knows, this was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Andrew, the light of her life and the light of her family, had been hit by an idiot driving to fast in a neighborhood. I had never experienced anything like this before. I was shocked. I was speechless. I was devastated and yet I knew that my feelings were not even a fraction of what Chocolate' and her family were feeling.

Needless to say, the next year was not nearly as fun at school. Chocolate' has more mood swings than a menopausal woman experiencing PMS. I spent many an evening outside of our dorm room, crying on the phone to my mother because I didn't know how to help my friend. I knew there was nothing I could do but that wasn't good enough. I had to help. In my own way, I guess I did. Chocolate' is the only one who can say if I did or I didn't.

My first visit back to Atlanta after the funeral was strange to say the least. I didn't know how to act. I had never been around death and grief before. Then the strangest thing happened. Andrew came to see me. Now I know many of you out there do not believe that this is possible. I don't give a shit what you think - IT HAPPENED. I slept in Andrew's room that first night and he came to see me. He told me to hang in and keep on doing whatever it was that I was doing. He said that Chocolate' needed me more than she realized. He said that Dianne needed me to be there for Chocolate'. He said that I had to stick around and I wouldn't be sorry for staying. He said that it would be hard but it would be worth it.

He was so right.

So even though another year has come and gone and I have yet again missed your birthday, I love you Chocolate'.

I'm so very glad I listened.

Twilight Revisited

2009-02-26T15:25:00.000-08:00

So Chocolate's comment about Stephenie Meyer book The Host got me Googling. I found her website and read an excerpt from the book. I'm not really intrigued, so I think I will let Chocolate' read it first and let me know. BUT! I did find something that a girl from work told me about. Apparently Ms. Meyer started retelling the Twilight story from Edward's point of view. I was intrigued. Unfortunately, it is not complete because some idiot stole it and leaked it out to the internet. It seems that this pissed Ms. Meyer off (rightly so) and she is not going to complete the book. However she did post the draft on her website and I started reading it and I LIKE IT! Gotta say that in the first version I wasn't too thrilled with Edward because I couldn't get my head around him. This draft gives more of an insight on Edward and I like him. He has a personality! Check it out:

Edward's voice

Let me know what you think.

The Time Between Dawn And Sunrise And The Time Between Sunset And Dusk

2009-02-25T17:00:00.000-08:00

Wikipedia's definition of twilight is listed in the title. Everyone elses definition of twilight is pictured below.

I don't think that the definition applies to Twilight the series. So after spending a little over $100 on the 4 hard back books, I have finished. I think being sick last week helped in my reading endeavor and it was a good thing that I couldn't really do anything else. I enjoyed Twilight and Breaking Dawn, the other two I could have done without. In all reality, I could have done without Twilight but as a book that introduced the two main characters, it wasn't bad. Plus there was the whole James thing. It seemed to me that the first three books lulled through out the middle. The whole section in Eclipse regarding the history of the "werewolves" was totally skipped. I loved, loved, loved the last one, Breaking Dawn.

**SPOILER**

I grew very weary of Edward and Bella and their tortured forbidden love, much like I grew very weary of Buffy and Angel and their tortured forbidden love. Buffy & Angel's saving grace was that they had an entertaining entourage. Now that is not to say that Alice, Roselin, Emmet & Jasper were not entertaining as well, but the Scooby Gang out shone the rest of the Cullens. That being said, I have to say that Alice & Emmet were my favorite characters in the Twilight series. I loved Alice's child like exuberance and Emmet's sense of humor! Those two truly saved these books.

Once the tortured couple married & consummated their relationship, things started to get interesting. When Edward found Bella covered in bruises, I could understand his anguish. I could see how he did not want to cause any pain to his "true love". When Bella started getting sick, I had a twisted thought that she was slowly being turned into a vampire via Edward's semen. I also thought that if I was right, I was extremely pleased that Stephanie Meyer had come up with some weird and disturbing way to turn a human. Then Bella became pregnant. How Genius!! Something that no other old-wives-tale or twisted writer had ever imagined! And then to have the pregnancy advance at an inhuman rate was also genius. I was hooked from the very first chapter of Breaking Dawn but I was not overly impressed with the other three. Yes, each book had good parts but overall I had a hard time reading them. In fact if I hadn't heard I SO many people praise this series and I hadn't kept thinking "This has got to get better", I would have given up half way through Eclipse.

So I guess if you are looking for something to read that does not require any thought at all, or that is several steps above the Sweet Valley High or Babysitter Club series, then I would say "Read Twilight". However, Harry Potter or The Wayfarer Redemption, this series ain't.

But I am going to watch the movie :-)

Harmonica - You Can Read This!

2009-02-19T15:26:00.000-08:00

Look what I found

Dispatches from the Island

I haven't finished the archives but Jorge has already stated that you will not find any "surprises" about Lost in his blog. It's been kinda funny.

Vomit, Hershey Squirts & Carcinoma

2009-02-18T15:38:00.000-08:00

So I have been sick. Sick, I say, SICK! There has been a virus going around work and I got it. The symptoms have been vomiting OR diarrhea. I got both! Let me say that again - BOTH! Everybody else has only had 1 day of sickness. Me? Two! And to top it off, my "friend" came to visit. So now I have stuff coming out of every orifice. Where is the justice I ask you? Let me tell you that I have not enjoyed this little bout of incapacitation.

So because of my illness and the fact that I could not gauge how long I could stay away from a toilet, Parental Unit #2 took Yen to the vet today. My Yen is 13 this year and has had quit a struggle over the past few years. Well today, we found out that Yen has a malignant tumor. The doctor is very confident that he will be able to remove the tumor quickly. There are just a couple of problems I have with the whole operation. Yen is old and she has neurological problems due to a sickness a couple of years ago. I was told then not to expose her to anything that is unnecessary. So she hasn't been vaccinated since 2005, hasn't been outside since 2005, has been eating the same food since 2005 etc. Now I have to decide if she should have this surgery to remove the tumor. If this tumor wasn't capable of spreading, I would say it was a no-brainer. However, this type of tumor has a tendency to spread and because of it's location, it could spread deep into her muscles and her spine. The other problem is that if I have this tumor removed there is no guarantee that it will not come back. Dr. Waite said that if it does come back, Yen would have approximately 2 years left. So the fast moving, spreading cancer could kill her no matter what route I take.

Should I go against my better judgement and do the surgery? Parental Unit #2 says yes, Parental Unit #1 says no. Both for the same reasons. If Dr. Waite gets all the cancer and it doesn't come back, then the tumor wouldn't kill her but I could loose her to the anesthesia. If Yen makes it through the surgery but it comes back, I'll only have a couple of years left with her. Barring some accident, I know that Yen is going to die before me but I'm not sure that I want to have a countdown. I have already done that once with Doc and I don't know if I have it in me to make "the decision" again.

Why Can't You Set Your Monkey Free

2009-02-12T15:00:00.000-08:00

So I have been trying to quit smoking and I have been somewhat successful. I haven't been smoking at work but when I get home.....

The cravings! God, the cravings!! I was smoking about a pack a day and now I'm done to less than a half a pack. Good right? If I can go all day without a cigarette, how come I can't go without them at home? These aren't rhetorical questions people, I really don't know why I cannot go with them while at home! Yes, I have an addiction. Yes, it is habitual. But why does that addiction/habit only creep up when I am at home? Do I need to find something else to do? Do I need to never come home? I have no clue!

On another note, Yen has to go to the doctor. I have found a hard growth on her. It's just past her stomach on her right side. So here lies another conundrum. She isn't supposed to get vaccinated any more. When she was sick a couple of years ago I was told not to vaccinate her anymore. She is no longer aloud outside. She can no longer have anything but Iams food. So when I take her to the vet, aren't they going to make me vaccinate her? Isn't it the law that all domestic animals within the city limits be vaccinated? I'm in a bit of a quandary. Help!

p.s. - I hope you all got the title of this post and are now singing George Michael's Monkey.

Decisions, Decisions

2009-02-05T16:16:00.000-08:00

So thanks to my lovely cousin, Mel, I have a decision to make. I have been thinking about it for the past couple of days. But as promised, I'm keeping it all to myself. So instead I'm going to talk about the last couple of movies I have watched.

Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Caspian

Sucked! Nothing like the book. Other than having some of the same characters as the book, the movie was nothing like it at all. I was greatly disappointed. I so enjoyed the first installment. I saw it at the theater and was just in awe. The movie people stayed to the story line of the book. Whoever did the 2nd installment did not do so well and left me utterly disgusted. I don't see how they can even call it Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Caspian.

The Other Boleyn Sister

I was expecting to dislike this one. I had heard that it was slow, poorly acted and not very good. Also it has Scarlet Johansson in it, whom I do not like. I have a problem with large breasted women who don't know how to dress their bodies.

However, I guess I am just a sucker for palace intrigue. I really liked the movie! It wasn't the best thing I have ever seen but I also didn't turn it off. Also it got me wanting to watch Elizabeth and Elizabeth, the Golden Age. Both of which are just wonderful movies and Cate Blanchett is a fabulous actress.

Well, pathetic as it is, this is my post for the time being. I can no longer handle this headache so I am signing off.

P.S. - Even though we didn't talk long, it was good to hear from you Chocolate'. Harmonica, we need to do lunch. Tam, you need to come see me.

I Want Some Answers!

2009-01-29T18:25:00.000-08:00

So I have been watching Lost and I just have a couple of questions.

1. How many people are on this damn island?

2. What in the hell is going on?

3. Why can't I get over the fact that Jeremy Davies is not Daniel Faraday but really Charles Manson as Daniel Faraday?

Seriously?!? How many more people are the writers going to bring on to the show? They only have 1 season left. It has taken 5 seasons to get me this confused, how are they going to wrap it all up in a neat bow in just 1? So many questions running through my head. And what is up with Sun? All of a sudden she is like Rambo and Martin Riggs all bunch together! Any moment I was expecting a flash of light to reveal Sun standing in the bushes complete with bandanna, AK-47 and a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. She scares me now. She is going to really loose it sometime this season.
Also, can I say how happy I am that Jack has finally shaved that beard? I mean as Charlie Salinger, the scruff looked good. As crazy-we have to go back-I love you Kate-Jack, he was more like the uni bomber.

And why-o-why do they keep killing off the people I like???

For All Of My Fellow Project Runway Fans

2009-01-28T10:51:00.001-08:00

Can I just say how much I love, love, love Jack? In the immortal words of Christian, Jack is fierce.

An Ode To Someone Special

2009-01-27T07:22:00.000-08:00

I know I’m late! I really, really suck at this kind of stuff. I don’t have Parental Unit #1’s memory or Mel’s knack for sending cards. I really, really suck at this kind of stuff.

Harmonica and I have been friend for close to 10 years now (wow!-damn your old girl!) and I have yet again let another year slip by without telling her how wonderful she is. Harmonica has been there through thick and thin (meaning my highs and low {I swear I could be bi-polar}). She has helped me with the loss of my Woobie, Miss Priss, my PawPaw and my Brian. She has helped me to understand the crazy that is my family and the crazy that is me. She has discussed with and educated me on politics, religion, societal pressures and accounting (Mon – I still say that the accounting world should do their debit & credits like everyone else). Most importantly she has brought strength, happiness, understanding, logic, goofiness (you should see her drunk), intelligence, faith and love into my life. I am a better person for knowing her.

She is a mommy now and she shared that experience with me. I got to hear all the nasty gruesome stuff that you really don’t want to hear. I wanted to know, so she told me. Even though she is a reserved person, I got to feel Speck rumbling around in her belly (you have to be part of the inner circle). I got to go baby shopping and I got to throw a baby shower. Even when the shower hit a huge glitch (you know how sorry I was about that {God! I just love my family}), she just shrugged her shoulders and said “So we will do something else”. Harmonica has a heart the size of the universe, a sense of humor as twisted as Yen’s head, enough love to accept the good, the bad and the ugly, and she loves road trips! What more could a friend ask for. More to the point I never had to ask.

Thanks Harmonica for being my friend. Happy Birthday.

Not Much Going On

2009-01-23T11:11:00.000-08:00

Things have been slow in North Alabama; at least for me. I did get some good news. One of my most favorite people in the whole world has joined the rest of us and now has an internet connection! I'll be adding my favorite cousin to the "Cast of Characters", now that she can read all about my ramblings. Also, I’m going to have to come up with a nickname for her #1 son and husband. Mel, if you can think of anything or if you two already have something for the boy, let me know.

I am actually most surprised that Mel was able to get any internet access out in Cow Town, Alabama. I thought my parent’s town was bad, but at least they could get internet and now pizza delivery! The great times just keep a-comin'! The great thing about Mel having internet access is that Mel is a writer. Not so much a long novel about the state of the union or if Britney should hook back up with Justin . Mel is great at holding you up when you are down or sending a congrats for a job well done. I love getting all the little notes and cards that she sends out on a whim. My cousin also puts Emily Post to shame. Mel has never let an opportunity go by where a "thank you" or "glad you came for a visit" card could be sent. It is just one of the many quirks I love about her.

So Mel, I'm glad you are now joining us but please don't ever, ever let those little pick-me-up cards stop. Love you bunches and I hope to see you soon.

And by-the-by, Mel it is now your fault that my blog will show up whenever someone Googles Spears & Timberlake. Not really a fan...ya know?

Lucy, You Have Some Explaining To Do

2009-01-15T11:36:00.001-08:00

Someone tell me how reading about Pavlova ends up here?

I didn't realize that the world's greatest ballerina was less than six degress of seperation of bestiality.

What The New Year Has Brought

2009-01-14T17:31:00.000-08:00

A renewed interest in one of my favorite TV shows.

I spent the new year in Atlanta, hanging with Chocolate' (forever now with the nickname Crip) and because of her immobility, we spent a lot of time in front of the TV. She got me all caught up on Bones which of course stars a Joss Whedon alum, David Boreanaz. Came home and dug out my Buffy collection and start watching them from season 1. Yes, I know, I know; I have a very exciting life. Don't be jealous.
Anyway I am now on season 4 and I have just finished my all time favorite episode. A pure masterpiece, fantastic story line and the best monsters every put forth in the realm of television. Not only did the people of Buffy create a wonderful episode with roughly 10 minutes of dialogue, but they created The Gentlemen and they scared the shit out of me.

The Gentlemen never spoke a word, grinned through their carnage and floated along the streets of Sunnydale looking for their hearts. Even though I have watched the episode a hundred times, they still give me the "wiggins". The only thing that could have possibly made the episode better would have been my favorite character - Oz.

Hope everyone had a great new year! Love to hear from you!

I Love This!

2009-01-07T06:11:00.000-08:00

I got this from one of the blogs I follow

Is It Ever Going To End?

2009-01-06T16:18:00.000-08:00

I swear it has been raining since Thanksgiving!

All I Needed Was Mister Magoo Behind The Wheel

2009-01-03T19:34:00.000-08:00

I am not a patient driver. I believe that I suffer from road rage on a daily basis. I have a real problem with drivers who camp out in the left hand lane on the interstate doing about 45. While they are thinking about their reign in their private kingdom, I am usually riding their ass, cussing away. Yes, I tailgate. That being said, as I was traveling to Atlanta, weaving around these shit heads in the left lane, bellowing along with Counting Crows, I started to get real annoyed with a sedan in front of me. I noticed that Mr. Driver was more interested in his passenger's story than in keeping his eyes on the road. So of course my attention turns to Mr. Passenger. Whatever he was saying had to be good because he was very animated! I started to wonder what in the hell happened. Mr. Passenger was moving his arms and hands around like a group of Italian mothers. And I thought I talked with my hands.
After a minute or two I started to tire of Mr. Passenger and his hands and started to get even more annoyed with Mr. Driver. Get your slow ass out of the passing lane! We pulled up to a red light in Anniston and again my attention was diverted to Mr. Passenger (short attention span, I know), when all of a sudden I had an epiphany! Mr. Passenger was deaf!!! Mr. Driver was trying to divert his attention from the road so that he could follow Mr. Passenger! WTF!!!

Who in their right mind tries to carry on a conversation with a deaf person WHILE DRIVING?

Of course I am now wishing I had paid attention to that "how to learn sign language" link Harmonica sent me a couple of months ago. I'm dying to know what Mr. Passenger was talking about!

p.s. - it wasn't so much of an epiphany; I saw Mr. Driver answer/comment Mr. Passenger

Look What I Got

2008-12-31T07:04:00.001-08:00

HJ came by last night to hang out for a while and look what Santa sent with him!

I was so excited I stayed up last night and read it a couple of times. I am now ready to start my comic book collection. Good times ahead and thank you HJ and Joss Whedon!